All Alone
by Grey24
Summary: Ana has spent most of her life alone, with no friends, family and even without a job or a place to live she decides she's finally had enough and attempts to take her own life. But all it takes is one moment to realise that you are not alone anymore, there's someone out there waiting for you to fall into their life.
1. Chapter 1

_Authors Note:_

 _I know I already have a story going but I thought I would share this…I haven't thought of a summary of the story yet but it will come to me eventually. I won't stop uploading my other story, in fact there will be a chapter with you or possibly two by the weekend. As always I do not own any of the Fifty Shades Trilogy, the characters belong to E.L James. This statement applies to the whole story. Thank you for reading!_

I've always hated this time of year but this year especially, it's getting colder and colder each night, it rains almost every day, and sometimes you could even class it as snow or sleet. I just hope the snow holds off this year, it's the last thing I need. I often wonder how I ended up at this point, just over a year ago I had a place to live, and I had a warm place to sleep and a roof over my head but now look at me? Walking the streets of Seattle, walking from shelter to shelter in the hope of finding a bed for the night? Do I ever find one? Probably about once a week, two if I am being extremely lucky. Tonight though, I was one of the unlucky ones, every shelter was full so I had no choice but to continue walking just to try and keep warm, the clothes I had on were the warmest I owned and they didn't even keep me that warm, just a simple pair of dark denim jeans, a t-shirt and a hoodie. I also now owned a pair of gloves, I found some in a dumpster one night, they were ripped a little bit but they kept my hands warm so I was grateful for them, everything I owned was in my rucksack, my lucky rucksack as I called it, it contained another pair of jeans, another two t-shirts, socks, a broken umbrella, a notebook, a pen, a pencil and a toothbrush; that was everything I owned now, I had a little bit of money that got me by, I didn't carry it around with me, not all of it anyway, I kept it hidden and in a safe place where nobody could possibly find it, thinking about it I probably should go and get some in the next couple of days, I was running now.

Thinking back, it's been almost a year to the day that I ended up in this situation…I had a job, I was only an assistant but it paid and it got me a roof over my head, but my boss fired me because I wouldn't sleep with him, he didn't fire me at first, he manipulated me, bullied me relentlessly, called me all the names under the sun because I was shy, he knew I had nobody to count on, I don't have any friends and he used that to beat me down and make me feel completely worthless, ever since then, I've shied away from just about everyone, I don't speak, I don't look at anyone I just keep walking, endlessly walking around hoping to find a bed at night, because I didn't have a job, I couldn't afford the rent on my small one bedroomed apartment so I got evicted before I had managed to find another job, I'd sent out resumes to companies but I'd sold my phone and laptop for money, or a place to stay and without a phone or access to a computer I had no way of knowing if I had been granted a second chance. I was 23 years old, I should not be living my life like this but how was I supposed to change my life around like this, living like this? For that I had no answer…

I eventually had enough of continuously walking around the streets and went a nearby park for some peace and quiet. It's almost 1am so there really shouldn't be that many people around, if I could find some kind a shelter, a tree or something I could sit down, and rest for a while, my legs and back were beginning to ache a little, and my feet sore. The reason I say I tree is because I can easily hide away from anyone who happens to be in the park at this time, if I went to a nearby bench, someone would no doubt come up to me and that was the last thing I wanted. I walked through the park a little before finding the perfect spot, you would only see me if you was actually looking in my direction, I sat down and leaned against the tree and closed my eyes… _No!_ I opened my eyes back open, I could not fall asleep here, I could only rest, not sleep. I opened up my rucksack in search of my notebook and my pen, these very two items were so sacred to me, my notebook was full of drawings, short stories, poems, songs and whatever else that came to mind…if ever something happened to it I know I would be heartbroken. I opened up my notebook to the last page I was at, it's a drawing of the world or my world to be exact and how I see it. I picked up my pencil and continued on drawing my idea of what my world was like…

I don't know how much time had passed, I always loved drawing it was my favourite thing to do besides reading books but as I didn't have any, drawing was all I could do, I didn't care if I wasn't very good at it, nobody would see it so what would it matter? As it was so quiet I was able to hear footsteps coming my way, I instantly froze and kept my eyes on the path that flowed through the park until a man came into a view, he was obviously out for morning run, he stopped dead on in my view. He didn't look out a breath so I didn't really understand why he had stopped but he had and it was then I was able to get a good look at him, my first thought was that he was beautiful, possibly the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life, he was young, definitely under the age of 30, copper messy hair, I couldn't see his eye colour as I was too far away, I still couldn't work out why he had stopped but I watched him anyway. I watched him reach into his pocket and pull out his phone and answering it, I couldn't make out anything he said, I wish I could, I'd love to hear the sound of his voice but I would have to move closer and I couldn't let him see me. Sadly though, he took off running again, I felt sad all of a sudden, knowing that I would probably never see him again but I still had a picture of him in my mind, I turned over a page in my notebook and drew him, well of what I saw of him anyway, the rest I would just imagine in my own head.

I was so lost in my drawing that I hadn't realised it had begun to get lighter until I heard dogs barking on their morning walk with their owners or people talking or out jogging before they went to work. I'd been awake all night, I packed up my things, stood up and slowly walked away from the tree that had given me shelter for a night, maybe I could come back here more often, maybe I would see that man again? I was still thinking about him. I shook my head and pushed my thoughts of him aside and thought about something else, I was hungry, very hungry to be exact. I knew I had a little money on me, I could possibly get something to eat. I soon left the park and made my way back into the centre of Seattle in search of food. I wasn't a fussy eater, living like I do I didn't really have much choice because I never knew when my next meal would come in so I basically went for whatever was cheapest, normally I would just go into a local store but when I felt like treating myself I would go into a café and order something that would make feel pretty special, but most times if I did walk into a café I would be glared at, customers would shake their heads at me as if to say what nerve did I have to walk in here and buy something like a croissant, if I hadn't been to a shelter in the days leading up to me entering a café then the glares and comments about my appearance would be a lot worse, I had long brown hair but it was dead and flat, spending most of its time in a ponytail or in a messy bun at the top of my head, I would sometimes go over a week without washing my hair so it looked pretty lifeless, my face was dry, as was probably the most of my skin, I was very pale, skinny, my clothes were too big and I always had dark circles around my eyes because I hardly ever slept and when I did I would wake up because of nightmares and then I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep so I just stayed awake and if I was at shelter I left early and just walked around aimlessly.

Today I knew was going to be one of them days, it was coming up to almost a week since I had managed to spend a night in a shelter, I knew I looked at mess, I didn't need a mirror to tell me that, I felt more tired than usual, obviously due to the lack of sleep and lack of nutrients I was putting in my body, something had to change but I believed in nothing, I didn't believe in living happily ever after, I don't think I even believed in love, true love anyway, definitely not true love.

I eventually stopped outside a small café, it didn't look that busy as it was still quite early on a Monday morning, I decided to put on a brave face, risk it and go inside. I kept my head down as I made my way over to counter and waiting in line. I could feel eyes on me, but I refused to look up and see, the sooner I was served, the sooner I could leave and carry out my day of walking around. It got to my turn and I knew I had to look up and order, taking a deep breath I looked up and into a woman's eyes, she was bleach blonde, she was dressed to perfection, I could tell by the way she looked at me that she didn't appreciate this type of custom, I ignored it asked for two croissants, I felt like I needed two today, I knew I was going to regret it later but I was just too hungry for just one, for some reason the prices were not next to the food but I just assumed two croissants couldn't cost me that much so I risked it. When she didn't do anything other than stare at me I asked again, making sure I said please afterwards but again all she did was look at me, I was about to do it again for a third time, I already knew why she wasn't answering me but I decided to give it ago and ask again but instead she spoke at me, her words making me feel so small, smaller than I already felt every day.

"I think you are in the wrong place, you cannot afford these prices, please leave…" her voice sounded so cold, her eyes still glaring into mine, I froze not knowing what I should do, why must I be treated differently just because of the way I looked, did people think I actually wanted this for my life. I picked up the courage and found my voice, I was hungry and I didn't see why I couldn't just buy a croissant.

"I have money, all I am asking for is a croissant, I'll just have one…"

"You will get none, I do not welcome your kind of custom in my café, now I will ask you again, please leave immediately, I have customers waiting" for the first time in a long time, tears threatened to spill over my eyes and down my cheeks. I quickly turned around and started to make my way out of the café until I clumsily walked into something rock solid or should I say someone. Because I was so small and fragile I was knocked flying onto the floor, now tears were spilling down my cheeks, I needed to get out of here, I quickly stood up and then I completely froze, it was him, the very same man I saw running through the park in the very early hours of the morning, the same man I had drawn from my memory and looking at him now, he was even more beautiful, he was wearing a black suit, white shirt and no tie and I couldn't stop looking at him, for some reason he looked familiar but I couldn't think where from and he was looking right at me, his eyes were even more beautiful, grey eyes, my favourite colour. It looked like he was about to speak when the very same woman who had caused all this came over.

"I thought I had asked you to leave…" she snapped at me before turning to this beautiful man.

"Christian darling, it's so good to see you, how was your business trip?" _Oh, you're nice to him…_ At first he didn't say anything, he was just looking at me as I was looking at him. I couldn't stand it any longer so I looked down, that was when he spoke and turning away from me, and his voice gave me goosebumps.

"Elena…why did you ask this" he began but she cut him off glaring at me.

"I won't say it again, leave now…" she shouted at me this time, my time was up, I quickly darted out of the café and back out onto the streets, still hungry.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two:**

Bad luck just follows me everywhere I go, I'm tired, I'm seriously hungry, I'm lonely and I could honestly see myself ending my life right here, right now. Nobody would miss me, I don't exist in this world, I don't live, I was just put here for people to laugh at, stare at and whatever else they felt like doing that day. My family don't have anything to do with me, my mother couldn't care less about where I am or what I'm doing in this world, she's on husband number four, husband number three was the last straw for me and I was out, since then, she doesn't have anything to do with me. I don't have a father, he died when I was a little girl, I don't have any siblings nor do I have any friends, I'm completely alone. I could just walk out into the middle of the road when a bus comes along, end it all in a second, who'd even care? I stand still at the edge of the sidewalk looking at the fast flowing traffic flying past me, a few more steps and I would no longer have to suffer like this, I'd be free, free of everything I think, everything I feel. I see a bus coming towards my direction, I close my eyes for a second and take a deep breath, my feet voluntary move out into the road on their own accord, if they don't want to spend another night walking. It's funny really, here I am about to end my own life and nobody is stopping me, the streets are incredibly busy with people and not one person is pulling me back.

I don't really know what happens next, I only take one more step until everything started to happen in slow motion, I vaguely here the sounds of a car or a bus horn, I hear someone in the distance scream "No!" and then I'm pulled backwards just as the bus passes me by. I know I'm on the floor, but I also know that someone is holding me, maybe someone does care after all? I don't know who this person is but his arms are wrapped around me so tightly and then I realise for the first time in a very long time I feel safe and warm. I soon snap back into reality when I'm being pulled to my feet, its then I turn around and once again I freeze. It's him again, is he following me? Here we are standing stock still staring at each other in the middle of a busy street, what happened a few minutes ago clearly didn't both anybody. It's then he speaks only this time he is seriously angry.

"Just what the hell do you think you are doing? You could have gotten yourself killed!" he screams at me, doe it even occur to him that getting myself killed might have been my intention?

"Do you even watch where you're going?!" he continues on shouting at me.

"You just walked out into the middle of traffic in front of a bus, you would be dead instantly if that thing hit you!" I don't answer, I begin to turn around and walk away when he pulls me back to him.

"Don't walk away from me, I just saved your life dammit!"

"Please, just leave alone…" I say quietly, my voice shaking. I've just tried to kill myself, what the hell was I doing? Has my life really got that bad?

"No, I won't just leave you alone, I don't think I could even trust you to continue on walking by yourself after that, you clearly have no regard for your own safety…" he snaps at me, why is this stranger just standing here shouting at me, I don't need this, tears threaten to spill over, I tried to hold them back but I'm unsuccessful as one falls down my cheek, I'm surprised when he reaches up and catches it with his thumb as he strokes my cheek. I let him stroke my cheek before I pull away.

"Just leave me be…" I whisper, my voice cracking.

"I don't think I can…" his reply much softer and quieter.

"Just try, you don't want to be seen talking to someone like me, I'm going to walk away, please don't follow me" he doesn't say anything as I turn around and walk away. I quickly walk away without looking back, but I can't help it, I steal a quick look and I don't know whether to be angry or flattered, he's following me, he's actually following me.

"I just want to talk to you…" I don't answer him I just continue on walking, my feet seriously hurt, I ache everywhere, I'm exhausted, what I've just tried to do is flowing through my head and I can't get it out, I've just tried to kill myself, I was seconds away from walking out in front of a bus and I actually wanted to, I actually wanted to do it. The realisation just hits me all at once and I just collapse to the ground, straight away I feel his arms around me holding me against him tightly.

"You walked out in front of that bus on purpose didn't you?" he whispers softly in my ear, I don't answer, I don't think I can even if I wanted to, tears just flow down my face, if possible he pulls me to him tighter, his arms wrapped around me securely like he's never going to let me go. He stands up with me still wrapped in his arms.

"Trust me okay?" he asks me, I pull back so I can look at his face, he's looking right at me. I don't have the energy or the strength to reply, I try to keep my eyes open but I start to feel very overwhelmed and faint, soon darkness takes me and I faint in this strangers arms.

 **CPOV:**

I don't know what it is about this girl? Here I am holding her in my arms in the back seat of my car whilst my driver takes us back to Escala, my home. She's completely got me under her spell, a spell I definitely don't think she knows she has. I look at her now whilst she's in my arms, she's beautiful in fact she's more than beautiful, she's breath-taking, her long brown hair flowing down her back, her bright blue eyes which captured me the moment I laid my own eyes on her, I felt something, something which I have never felt before and I know she felt it too, I know she did. But she's sad, she's broken that I do know, we'd make a good pair and that thought makes me smile slightly. Ever since I saw her in Elena's café I knew I had to find out more about her, the way Elena treated her really fucked me off, she clearly just wanted a little food, she was desperate and I know what that feels like, the thought itself makes me shudder and I pull her tighter in my arms, she's too thin, I can feel the bones on her, she weighs absolutely nothing, she needs help. As soon as she left the café I demanded an explanation from Elena, she gave me yet another bullshit and I demanded her to tell me what this beautiful girl wanted, once she told me I told her to give it me, it was then I left the café without anything for myself and determined to find this girl. It didn't take me long, she hadn't walked very far, she was stood on the edge of the sidewalk looking out into the road, she looked lost, completely in her own world, I watched horrified as she walked out into the road as a bus was heading for her direction. I got to her just in time and pulled her back and we both fell to the ground. Looking at her now, I know she walked out on purpose, she was going to kill herself or at least try, she actually wanted to end her own life. I kiss the top of head and then rest my head there, I've only known her probably just over an hour and yet I feel so protective, she needs looking after, she needs me to look after her, take care of her, protect her, I just hope she lets me, but I have this feeling that it's not going to be easy.

We eventually reach Escala, I easily get out of the car with her still in my arms and we make our way towards the elevator to my penthouse, she's probably going to be terrified once she wakes up, she'll have no idea where she is I just hope I can calm her and get her to stay, I could tell she was exhausted as soon as I looked at her in the café, she needs to rest, she needs to eat and I am determined to help her in any way I can, I will not let her push me away. We soon get to my place and I straight away head for my bedroom, passing my housekeeper Gail on the way, she looks stunned and confused as she sees me carrying a girl into my bedroom, Taylor my driver and head of my security will fill her in on everything as I enter my room and closed the door with my foot. I actually don't want to let her go, she belongs in my arms. I pull back my duvet and gently lay her down, I move her hair out of her face so I can look at her, she's so beautiful, I lean down and kiss her forehead lightly, she murmurs something in her sleep and then sighs, I have a feeling she'll be asleep for a while. I pull myself away from her and leave my bedroom as quietly as I can, I'll come back and check on her in a little while, now though I have a lot of work to catch up on.


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note:**

 _Thank you for all your reviews, your feedback has been amazing for this story. I'm still trying to figure out a summary for it, it shouldn't take me much longer. Someone asked in one of the reviews is this girl Ana? Yes it is Ana, I wouldn't have it any other way. What I want to ask you though is do you want Christian to be the very same Christian we know and love? His childhood will still be the same but do you want him part of the BDSM lifestyle? I can make this story go either way. Other than that thanks again for reading and enjoy another chapter from me._

 **Chapter Three:**

I find myself standing in the doorway of my bedroom staring at the girl who's very much still asleep in my bed. She's been asleep for sixteen hours so far and she's not moved once, it's almost four in the morning the next day and all I've done is either stand here and stare at her or try and find out who she is but I've had no luck, I don't even know her name and yet here she is, sleeping in my bed. I need to stop this, I turn my back and begin to close the door when I hear her voice, I stand still and listen to her, she's mumbling a bunch of words…I hear the words "No", "Please don't", "Picture" it's then she starts thrashing about in her sleep that I realise she's having a nightmare, I'm immediately at her side but I'm unsure what to do, I've only ever dealt with my own nightmares, I don't know how to deal with someone else's. I kneel down at the side of the bed and gently reach for her, I stroke my hand down her cheek and she immediately stops moving and calms. I'm desperate to kiss her, I don't even know her and yet I find myself wanting to hold her and kiss her just to see if I could make her smile, I bet she has the most beautiful smile, I'm going to have to work hard in order for me to see it. I don't particularly want to move away from her but if she wakes up and finds me here she will definitely freak out, with one last look I stand up and walk away, as much as I want to slide into bed next to her and sleep, I know I can't.

I leave my bedroom and head back towards my office, on my way their I see something out of the corner of my eye, it's her rucksack, the one she was carrying with her, maybe this could give me a little clue on who she is. I pick it up, it's not heavy but I imagine for a girl as tiny as she is it probably is. I know I shouldn't look through her stuff but what choice do I have? I am desperate to know more about her. I take it with me and continue on towards my office. I sit down and place her rucksack on my desk and look at it for a few moments. Why do I feel so confused about all of this? I can't do it, I can't open it up, if I do and she finds out I have she will hate me before we've even got to know each other. I wonder if this is all she owns, is this all she has? I could give her the world and more, I could buy her everything she has ever wanted easily and without hesitation. I look at my watch and realise I have been sat here a lot longer than I thought, it's almost 6am. Surely she should be waking up soon, it's been almost eighteen hours.

I quickly go and check on her, she's still asleep, I honestly wonder when it was the last time she got any real sleep. I shut the door again and make my way towards one of my guestrooms, I'll sleep in here for a couple of hours, I only ever need a couple of hours anyway. I soon lay down and close my eyes, before I know it, I'm asleep and my own nightmares take me.

I wake up by the sound of my own screams, I'm covered in sweat and I'm shaking, this is nothing new to me, I'm lucky if I get by one night without having one of my nightmares. I take a few deep breathes and try and calm myself down, I know I won't be able to go back to sleep so I might as well get up, I look at my phone, I have a few new emails, a message from my brother but that's all, I then look at the time, it's 9am, three hours sleep, that's almost a record for me.

I make my way out of the guest bedroom, I stop at the door of my own bedroom, I don't know if I should check on her again, I've done it so many times, I want her to wake up, I want to talk to her. I don't look in, I carry on down the hall and make my way to the kitchen. Gail is already there cooking breakfast, she looks up when she sees me coming and smiles,

"Good morning Mr. Grey", I don't answer, I just nod.

"Breakfast in 10 minutes Sir?" she asks.

"Can you make a little bit extra, just in case my guest wakes up?"

"Certainly Sir"

"Thank you" I say quietly as I reach for this morning's newspaper and my coffee. Taylor walks in moments later and we discuss today's schedule, I don't want to leave here, I don't want to leave her but I have an important meeting at GEH that I can't cancel, I've cancelled in twice already just because I was in a bad mood. I tell him we will leave within the hour, the sooner I get this meeting over with, the sooner I can come back here. I eat all of my breakfast without fail and then proceed back towards the guest bedroom to shower and get ready for work.

I'm soon ready to set off but before I leave I just have to look in on her, I quietly open the door and to my surprise and shock the bed is empty. She's awake that is for sure but where the hell is she? I realise the bathroom door is closed, perhaps she's in there? I feel like an intruder walking in on her like this but this is my bedroom so I guess that will just have to be excuse if she asks. I sit down on the edge of my bed and wait for her to come out, eventually I hear the bathroom door creak open and I look up, there she is, she's still as beautiful as ever. She freezes when she sees me sitting here on the edge of the bed and I know I've scared her, I stand up suddenly, probably too quickly as that only scares her more, she backs herself up against the wall. _Start talking Grey…and don't scare her off!_

"Hey, it's okay, I won't hurt you, don't be afraid of me" I say as gently as I can, she doesn't answer.

"Do you remember what happened yesterday?" I ask her, her eyes widen, she obviously has no idea what time it is or what day it is. I also realise that I don't think she's going to talk to me, not yet anyway. I need to gain her trust somehow but I'm unsure what to do, in the end I decide on telling how she got here and where here is, I leave out the details of yesterday for the time being.

"I brought you here, you've been asleep for just over eighteen hours, it's now Tuesday morning. I don't want you to be afraid of me, I want to help you, I know you are scared, I would be too if I woke up completely unaware of where I am and what I'm doing here but I can assure you, you are safe…" I want to hear her voice, she only spoke a little yesterday and when she did she was so quiet but even so her voice sounded like pure heaven, so angelic and soft.

"Can I know your name?" I'd love to know her name, she looks down, if only she would trust me and I would stop that immediately, I would make her look at me, I'd love nothing more than to look into this big beautiful blue eyes. I step forward ever so slightly and hold out my hand;

"Trust me…please?" I sound like I am almost begging her, what she does surprises me, she slowly and hesitantly reaches for my hand, once I have hold of it I grasp onto it tightly, her hand is so small that mine completely overpowers it.

"I know you must be hungry, there's food waiting for you, would you like to come with me?" I ask her, she peeks up at me and nods. Good I thought, she needs feeding, I can't stand looking at her protruding bones any longer peeking out from underneath her baggy clothes. I slowly guide her out of my bedroom, I must remember to walk slowly, she's weak and she's probably still exhausted, maybe I should ring my Mom?

We eventually reach the kitchen and I sit her down carefully, she just sits and there and watches me as I get her her breakfast which Gail has prepared, croissant's to be exact, I know she asked for them yesterday so I assume she likes them, once I put them in front of her she just stares at them.

"Please eat something…" I say gently just as Taylor comes into a view, she sees him and I see her whole demeanour change, she's once again terrified and I automatically go to her side.

"He won't hurt you either, you can trust him too" I tell her quietly but I don't think she hears me, she's shaking, I look up at Taylor, he looks just as confused as I was before, he nods once at me and retreats back to his quarters until I decide to leave for GEH. Once he's gone I don't know what possesses me but I just pull her into my arms and hold her, she's still shaking but not as much, she eventually calms down in my arms but I keep hold of her just so she knows she's safe. She eventually pulls away from me, she needs to eat and I need to get to GEH to clear my mind.

"You can have as many as you like, my housekeeper Gail is here and will help you. Help yourself to anything you want but please, please don't leave. I want to help you, I'll be back in a couple of hours I promise…" before I can stop myself, I kiss her forehead and then pull away, I watch as she begins to eat and it makes me smile.

"Ana…my name is Ana" she whispers so faint that I almost didn't hear it but I did, she's told me her name, I can't help but grin at her. Taylor is at the elevator once I finally stop staring at her, I message Gail just to ask to keep an eye on Ana and help her if she needs anything. I hope she doesn't leave, I want her to stay here with me.


	4. Chapter 4

Authors Note:

 _Thank you again for all your wonderful comments, here is another chapter for you. For some reason I like writing this in Christian's point of view, but I will switch back to Ana's in the next chapter. In answer to some questions, yes Christian's past will still be the same, his childhood I mean, I'm focusing a little on Ana right now but it's not forgotten, not by a long shot. I've also decided what to do about the whole BDSM part of his life, for now I will not say, you'll just have to keep reading to find out. Also, I will be unable to update until Thursday now at the latest as I have a BIG job interview coming up on Wednesday and I need to focus on that but I couldn't leave you without anything. So I hope you enjoy this next instalment._

 **Chapter Four:**

The sooner I get out of this meeting the better, I can't concentrate, I'm only half listening as to what is going on, I sent Taylor back to Escala to stay with Ana but I told him to stay in his quarters, she doesn't trust him, in fact I don't think she trusts me either and I know I can't make her stay but I just want updates as to what she's doing, I can't get her out of my mind. So far Taylor has reported that she's still at the apartment which is a good sign I think, he's been watching her on the camera, she's moving from the kitchen to the seating area but that's it, Gail has tried asking her if she wants anything but she's not talking, it makes me wonder how and why she ended up like this, I also wonder when it was the last time she had a normal conversation with someone, I need to try and get her talk to me but it's frustrating because I'm not sure how. I've known her just over a day and yet she has completely taking over my mind, I can't get her out of it, her big blue eyes that honestly look like they are seeing right into my soul when she looks at me. I need to wrap up this meeting as soon as possible, for the first time in possibly my whole career I am leaving early to go home, go home to a girl I don't even know. With that set in my mind I shut down this dull meeting and tell them I'll have to reschedule as I have a personal matter to deal with. I check my phone as I'm packing up to leave, one is from Taylor and the other from Elena, I read Taylor's first as I assume it's about Ana.

 **Your guest is not well Sir, you might want to think about coming home. T**

 _Fuck! I need to get out of here and fast. What's wrong with her?_

As Taylor is at the apartment, I drive myself back to Escala with one of the company cars parking in the underground parking lot, I'm not at all bothered if I run through red lights, or speed I need to get home. Never before have I been so eager to get home before and especially because of a girl but here I am speeding through the streets of Seattle back to my penthouse. In what must be record time, I reach Escala, I quickly park up and run towards the elevator up to my home. I'd sent Taylor a message telling him I'm on my way home but he probably won't be expecting me this quick, after all I probably just broke every driving rule there is. I'm right when Taylor meets me at the elevator.

"Sir…?" he starts but I cut him off, I don't have the time to be given a lecture about my driving, I need to know what's wrong with Ana.

"Later Taylor, where is she? What happened?"

"She's in your bedroom Sir, Gail kept a close eye on her for you, she could tell Ana looked very pale all of sudden and was shaking, she asked her if she was okay but she received no answer, moments later she ran towards your bedroom, Gail followed after she alerted me, we found her throwing up in your bathroom Sir, I believe she has stopped now and is asleep again Sir…"

"Thank you Taylor, I'll call if I need you" I tell him as I am already on my way to my bedroom. I quietly enter my bedroom, I spot her immediately curled up on my bed fast asleep. I move closer to get a better look, she looks very pale and she has her arms wrapped around her stomach, something is obviously bothering her, maybe she's pregnant? That's my first thought, my second thought is I hope not, I really hope not. I sit down close to her and gently stroke her cheek with my finger, she automatically leans into it in her sleep but she then opens her eyes and looks right at me, I don't move my hand as I don't think she wants me too.

"Hi…" I say quietly, it takes her a few seconds before she answers.

"Hi" she whispers and I can't help but smile.

"How are you feeling?" as soon as I say that, tears spring up in her eyes, one falls down her cheek and I catch it with my thumb.

"It hurts…" she whispers, I move closer to her.

"What does? What hurts Ana? Tell me so I can help you?" I say urgently.

"Everywhere, my stomach…"

"Ana, listen to me, I think I need to take you to the hospital, we need to find out what's wrong so you can get better…"

"No...No…no hospitals please" she begs me.

"Ana, we need to find out what's wrong, let me help you, please baby" I can't stand this, I feel like dragging her to the hospital but I don't think she'll appreciate it.

"Will you stay with me?" she asks, like she has to ask.

"I promise you, I will stay with you…I'm not going anywhere"

"You will, everyone does" she mumbles more to herself than me but I still hear her and it makes me angry to think that's what she thinks. I take her small hand in mine and hold in tightly.

"I won't…" and I kiss each one her knuckles in turn, she tries to pull herself up but I see her wince in pain so I automatically reach for her and lift her up, she manages to wrap her arms around my neck and holds on tightly, it pains me to her so fragile, I wonder if she's eaten anything else today? Maybe that's the problem? I know when I was adopted when I was four, I'd suffered so much from neglect and starvation that whatever Grace put in front of me and I would eat, I'd eat until I was sick and then eat more, terrified I would go hungry again, I know I need to call my Mom but I'm unsure of exactly what to say to her about Ana. I keep hold of her as I make my way back through my penthouse, Taylor obviously sees me coming from the camera's in his office, I peek a look at Ana and realise she has fallen asleep in my arms, I ask Taylor to drive us to the hospital, he nods and follows me to the elevator.

On the way to hospital, I keep Ana in my arms and call my Mom asking her if she she's on shift, automatically she thinks it's me when I reassure her it's not she starts asking questions, I just say I'll explain when I get there and hang up, I don't want the questions right now. I keep Ana safe and secure in my arms whilst Taylor drives us through the streets of Seattle. We soon get there and it really doesn't surprise me that my Mom is there waiting for me, I love my Mom, she's always been my guardian angel.

Once I step out of the car with Ana her hand flies to her mouth in shock, yes Mother I am with a girl, it's not that shocking. She immediately comes over to me and then stops.

"Darling who's this? Are you okay? What's happened?"

"I'm fine Mom, it's this…her name is Ana I need you to take a look at her for me?"

"Of course darling, follow me" I refuse to put Ana down as they bring over a stretcher, I'd rather carry her. I follow my Mom through the hospital until we reach our destination, we enter an empty room and as gently as I can I lay Ana down on the bed but keep hold of her hand, my Mom comes round to stand next to me.

"Christian, what happened to her?"

"I don't know, I've only known her a day, I bumped into her yesterday morning, I then saw her again later on and she collapsed, I took her back to Escala, she slept for over eighteen hours straight, she hardly speaks, she's terrified of everyone and everything. She told me her name this morning, I left for GEH for a couple of hours, returned home to find out she's been throwing up quite a lot and that's when I insisted she needs a hospital...I didn't know what else to do Mom"

"You've done the right thing darling, from just looking at her I'd say she's seriously malnourished and seriously underweight, are you staying with her?"

"Yes, I promised her I wouldn't leave, she doesn't trust anyone, I think she's beginning to trust me" _I hope so anyway._

"Ok, stay with her darling and I will be right back" I nod and turn to look at Ana, I squeeze her hand tightly, she has to be okay.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five:**

I can hear his voice I just don't want to open my eyes just in case he's not real, that he's not really here. I know he promised me that he wouldn't leave but I can't think of one reason as to why he would stay, I don't want him to feel sorry for me just because he found me like this, I'd rather be left alone so I can get on with my life. But despite that, I feel something, something which I have never felt before, I feel like I can trust him which is a first for me, I've never trusted anyone before. I feel safe with him, I talk to him, I feel protected. But I know I can't stay, he doesn't want to get involved with someone like me, he'll soon realise that and we will both be better off. We live in completely different worlds, we come from two completely different worlds and I would never be able to fit into his. I finally was able to remember where I recognised him from, he probably hasn't even realised but we have met before, we met just over a year ago, before my life turned to hell that's how I know for sure that we don't belong in the same world, I need to walk away, I need to make him understand that I don't want anything to do with him, even if that is a complete lie. I slowly open my eyes after I realised it had all gone quiet around me, I look around and he's there, looking straight at me. I know I am in a hospital, I wonder how long I've been here for?

"Hi" he says quietly to me.

"Hi...you're still here?"

"I told you I would not leave so I haven't"

"But why?"

"Because I don't break promises Ana, I want to be here"

"But…"

"Ana I know you are trying to make excuses but please don't, I want to be here, in fact I don't want to be anywhere else so please don't…I want you to talk to me, I want you to trust me, I want to know everything about you but I know that will take time but I will wait"

"Don't say things like that to me"

"I mean every word..."

"No, you don't and you can't. We live in two completely different worlds, we come from two different worlds, I don't fit into your world so please don't say things like that when you know nothing about me, you don't even remember that we've met before Christian…" for the first time I say his name and he looks shocked and surprised by it.

"We have? When?"

"It doesn't matter when, it's not important"

"It is important, when did we meet Ana?"

"I told you, it doesn't matter. It's better this way…I don't, I don't want you here"

I've never been very good at lying and I know he can see right through me, he knows that what I've just said is a lie and I know it's a lie too I just can't be around him, he doesn't know anything about me, if he did he would be straight out that door and I wouldn't blame him for it either. I need to make him understand but before anything else can happen we are both interrupted. I vaguely remember this woman, I remember her voice I think she's his mother.

"How are you feeling Ana?" she says softly, I freeze and then panic, I look over at Christian who leans over and squeezes my hand tightly in his.

"It's okay Ana, this is Dr. Grace Trevelyan Grey, my mother. She won't hurt you, you can trust her" I see her smile warmly at her son and then takes a step closer to me.

"You can call me Grace dear, I need to ask you a few questions, do you want Christian to stay with you?!" I turn to look at Christian who's looking straight back at me, as much as I want him to stay here with me, he shouldn't, he has to understand that he's better off without me starting with now. I look at back at Grace and shake my head, I hear Christian sigh at the side of me as Grace turns to look at him.

"Christian, do you mind stepping outside for a moment?" he doesn't move from where he is, he continues to look at me, eventually I turn to look at him.

"Please, just leave…" he shakes his head and then without a word he lets go of my hand and storms out of the room, slamming the door in the process which makes me jump. I already miss the warmth of his hand as it held mine. Grace comes over and sits down next to me.

"As his mother, I can tell he's worried about you, so much so that he hasn't left your side once. As your patient, I understand why you wanted him to leave and he knows that too, he's just very stubborn…"

"He's better off without me" I mumble to myself only to then realise I had just said that out loud, to his mother.

"I don't think so, if he didn't want to be here then he wouldn't be, he would have left as soon as he brought you in, he wouldn't have cared for you yesterday before you was brought here…" I look down and don't say anything. _Is she right?_

"As your doctor Ana, I need to ask you a few questions, is that okay? If there is anything you don't want to answer then don't, I want to gain your trust" I nod.

"Can I ask your full name?"

"Anastasia Steele"

"Age?"

"22"

"Ok, thank you Ana. Now if you don't want to tell me then that is fine but as a doctor and in order for me to help you, I have to ask what happened?"

"I don't understand"

"Christian brought you in here yesterday afternoon, you've been asleep since then. All I want to do is help you, you was brought in here with serious dehydration and exhaustion, all of this can't have happened overnight sweetheart, and you are very underweight which a massive problem for someone your age…"

"I'm fine" I don't need anyone telling me this, I tried to kill myself a few days ago just so everything would just stop hurting.

"Sweetheart, you are not fine, you are seriously ill, a couple of more days and you would have died" I shake my head furiously and look away, tears rolling down my face. I refuse to answer anything else, I just want to be left alone, I want to leave here and then just disappear. She must sense this because she leaves the room for the time being as I just continue on crying. I then feel warm, strong arms wrap themselves around me and I know it's Christian, he had been waiting outside the room after all.

"Shhhh…" he whispers into my hair as I continue on crying.

"Ana, baby, calm down for me, your shaking, take some deep breaths for me" I try but I can't seem to stop crying, his hand gently lifts my chin up so I can look at him fully, he strokes my cheek and wipes every single tear away until they eventually stop. He doesn't let go of me after I eventually do calm down, he just continues to hold me against him, after a while, he does speak up.

"I wish you would stop being so stubborn Ana" he murmurs into my hair and for the first time, I actually want to smile a little. Why do I feel so confused about this man? I lift my chin back up so I can look at him. _Why does he have to be so beautiful?_

"You need help Ana, whether you want to admit it or not, I just want to help you, nobody here is going to hurt you that I can promise you. I won't let anything happen to you so please just let me help you"

"But why?" he takes a deep breath and sighs.

"Honestly Ana, I don't know the reason. All I know is that ever since I met you, you've been constantly on my mind. I feel something, something which I can honestly say I have never felt before and I know you feel it too"

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me"

"You are so stubborn"

"Your mother said the same thing about you"

"She's right, that I know I am. I am not leaving here until you let me help you"

"How are you going to help me?"

"In any way I can, whatever happened in my apartment just proves to me you can't do this by yourself. If I let you go, you'll be back here before you know it or worse and I can't watch that happen. I'll help you build up your strength, you need the right fluids and nutrients in your body, you will be here for a couple of days and after that you will come and stay with me…"

"Christian, I can't do that, I don't want to disrupt your life, I'm sure you have a wife, or girlfriend or whatever and I don't…" I ramble off into my own world, he doesn't say anything for a few moments

"Ana, stop rambling. I don't have a girlfriend and I certainly don't have a wife. You will come and stay with me and I won't hear you try and suggest otherwise. Look I have to go, there's something I need to do and sort out. Please rest and stay out of trouble, I will be back soon" and before I can say anything he's gone and out the door. What was that about? As soon as I mentioned a girlfriend or a wife he cuts me off and then leaves abruptly. Maybe he's lying, maybe he does have a girlfriend, after all why wouldn't he, just look at him, he's perfect. This is so confusing and my head hurts just thinking about it. I close my eyes and try and shut my thoughts of Christian out but I end up dreaming about him instead.

 **CPOV:**

 _She is so stubborn!_ But I can see why, she's afraid and I don't blame her. She's been on her own for too long I assume and has avoided every single person that has ever crossed her path but she will not avoid me, I won't let her. I am only just beginning to realise as to what it is that I am feeling for her and it's scaring me, that was one of the reasons why I left her so suddenly and why I am pacing up and down at the front of the hospital, the other reason was how stupid I have been, I don't have a wife, I don't have a girlfriend, but I'm not exactly all innocent in that department either.

Normally, the weekends can't come quick enough when I've been sat in my office day in and day out all week but now, my mind has been so preoccupied with thoughts of Ana that I haven't thought about this weekend once. The press call me Seattle's most eligible bachelor, which is true I probably am, I am worth a hell of a lot of money, I have lines of women crawling at my feet, I have one night stands, arrangements or whatever else you want to fucking call it, I always have, I have to have control, nobody is allowed to touch me, ever. With Ana, I know I feel something entirely different, I could never do that to her or with her, I actually want her to touch me, I want to hold her and protect her, cherish her with all that I have but I just know she'll be completely stubborn about it. I just know I have to try and to prove to her that we are worth it.


	6. Chapter 6

Authors Note:

 _Thank you once again for all the lovely comments, I appreciate it. You will find out soon enough about how they met before, just hang in there. Also, you may or may not have guessed but I decided on Christian not being a part of the BDSM lifestyle, I was tempted but I just couldn't do it. For those who wanted him to be, I apologise and I hope I haven't ruined the story for you but after some thinking about it and about how I want this story to go, it just wouldn't make much sense, so I made it so that he would just have casual flings/one night stands instead (I will state now, there is no cheating in this story, but I can't promise that some of Christian's ex's may not come back). However he did have the same childhood and I hope that's enough because it will play a major part in future chapters. Anyway, thank you again, if you have any questions, please feel free to send me a message. Enjoy this chapter!_

 _P.S – the first part of this chapter is all a dream, or in this case a nightmare._

 **Chapter Six:**

" _YOU ARE NOTHING! He screams at me as my back hits the wall._

" _NOBODY LIKES YOU, EVERYONE THINKS YOU'RE A FREAK ANA!"_

" _Please I…" he slaps me across the face._

" _I love it when you beg Ana, reminds of that time I asked you to do me a favour and you begged me not to make you do it. I felt sorry for you, so I let you off. Now though, I think you need to be taught a lesson"_

" _You've led me on Ana, that type of behaviour in a work place is not acceptable, however if it's you, I can make an exception. You are the perfect type…I could fuck you right here, right now in this office and nobody would ever know…"_

" _No"_

" _Yes Ana, don't fight it…"_

" _Please let me go!"_

" _No"_

" _Please…"_

" _Keep begging Ana!"_

" _No, no…no"_

"Ana?"

" _No, please…"_

"Ana, wake up!"

" _No, no! Please…"_

"Baby, Ana wake up!"

I shoot up out of bed, tears pouring down my face and I'm shaking uncontrollably. It takes me a few seconds to remember where I am…the hospital, it looks dark outside so I must have been asleep for a while.

"Ana?" I jump at the sound of my name being called. I look around and see Christian sitting next to me looking seriously concerned. He makes a move to touch me but I shake my head.

"Don't...please"

"Ana, I just want to help!"

"You can't"

"Please just let me try, Ana please, don't be afraid"

"I've been afraid my whole life, how can you possibly change that?"

"I only want a chance, I can protect you, whatever it is you are afraid of, I can protect you. You can't go back out there all by yourself Ana, I won't let you even if you do refuse my help…"

"I just want…" I trail off, unsure if I should finish what it was I was about to say.

"What? What is it you want? Ana, please tell me" he pleads with me, I take a deep breath and just say it.

"Hold me" I mumble, he doesn't even hesitate, he sits on my bed next to me and pulls me to him, his arms wrap around me tightly. I bury my face into his neck and close my eyes.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asks quietly.

"Honestly, yes and no"

"I'll take that but can I ask why you are?" _just be honest Ana…_

"Because when I'm with you, when you are around, even if it's for just a second, I feel a little better, I feel safer, I feel something completely different and I just don't know how to deal with it, that's what I am afraid of. I am starting to trust you because despite everything, you stay, you saved my life. I wanted to end my own life and yet you saved me" I pull away a little and look at him, his eyes are just memorising.

"Despite what you think and how I know you see yourself, you are so beautiful and I just want to keep telling you that until you believe me. You will get through all of this, I know you will" tears start to fall from my eyes again, he quickly starts wiping them away.

"Don't cry…I can't stand it" he whispers softly. I lean my face into the palm of his hand and I close my eyes. My breathing hitches, I open my eyes again to find his face inches away from mine, I want him closer to me. I feel like I know what he's asking for, I feel it too. I want him to kiss me, I want to be kissed by him, I look down at his lips and then back to his eyes again, he keeps his eyes focused on mine and I know he's seeking permission and I nod my head quickly before I can think otherwise. Gently, his lips find mine, what I feels like an electric current shoots through my entire body. I know I am beginning to fall for this man and I know that if he ever was to walk away from me I would be devastated, he pulls away slightly, still keeping his forehead resting against mine and smiles and for the first in a seriously long time, I smile back and giggle.

"Now that is something…" he murmurs against my lips, when I don't answer he continues.

"Your giggle, it's the most beautiful sound" I shake my head.

"I'm being serious, I want to hear that every day from now on as well as seeing that beautiful smile" before I can reply, he kisses me again softly, I could spend my days wrapped up in this man's arms. A knock at the door interrupts us both and Christian pulls away as Dr. Grace walks back in but I'm sure she saw us. Christian moves off of the bed and sits back down but still keeps hold of my hand, I squeeze it as tightly as I can which isn't much but he still feels it because he squeezes it back and I smile again. First things first though, I need to apologise to his mother.

"Dr. Grey, I just want to apologise for the way I was earlier…" I know Christian is looking at me, probably dying to ask what happened but I'm guessing because his mother is in the room, he keeps quiet.

"Sweetheart, I understand completely, there is no need to apologise and please call me Grace" I nod and look at my hand entwined with Christian's.

"Can Christian stay?" I ask, unexpectedly Christian leans over and kisses the side of my head, Graces smiles at us both.

"Of course he can, I don't think he's going anywhere this time" and I see him nod his head at the side of me.

"Ana, you will be staying here for a couple of more days to give your body a little more time to recover. But when you do leave, it won't be easy. You need to get as much rest as possible, wherever possible, your body has been through too much and it needs to rest. But, you also need to build your strength back up, that means eating more but not too much all at once, small meals to start with to give your body a chance to catch up and drink plenty of fluids. Once you start to feel a little stronger, you can increase the amount of food you have at meal times. If you can, when you feel strong enough and only when you feel strong enough, a little exercise will help you build your strength back up. Don't do it all at once, this will all take time and you may find it frustrating at times but eventually you will be fully recovered." I nod, understanding everything that she's just said.

"Ana will be coming to stay with me" Christian states.

"Ok darling, as long as that is what Ana wants?" she asks, I'm not about to tell her I've been living on the streets for over a year and could possibly be falling hard and fast for her billionaire son. Instead I smile and nod at her and squeeze Christian's hand again.

"I will leave you both now, Christian I am going to assume you are going to stay?" he nods.

"Ok, remember you need to rest Ana and Christian, Elliot wants you to call him" and then she leaves us, I turn to face Christian.

"Christian, you need to sleep too, go home and sleep, I'm not going anywhere and then you can come back tomorrow"

"I'm not leaving this room baby, I want to be with you"

"But…"

"Ana please listen to me, I don't want to be anywhere else but here with you"

"But there's nowhere to sleep in here"

"I'll doze in this chair whilst you sleep"

"You can't…" I pause for a second

"You can share with me…" I say quietly and I just know I am blushing, I should not have said that, I peek a look at Christian and he's smiling at me. I move ever so slightly so he knows I mean it.

"Ana..." he starts but I cut him off.

"Please, I like falling asleep in your arms, you can even move when I am asleep if you want" I don't say another word as he slips off his shoes and socks and then climbs onto the hospital bed next to me, he wraps an arm around and pulls me close to him and my head falls against his chest, I can feel his heart beating, it quickens as I shift to get a little more comfortable, I look up at him, he has his eyes squeezed shut, I reach up and stroke his cheek and his eyes open straight away to look down at me.

"What's wrong?" I ask him, he looks pained all of a sudden, I move to sit up but he keeps hold of me.

"Don't Ana, please, don't move. I need to do this"

"Do what, I don't understand"

"Just stay where you are, I will explain but for now you need to sleep"

"But…"

"Baby, I promise you, I'm fine, just go to sleep" I can tell by the tone of his voice that he doesn't want to talk about it so I decide to let it go for now, I close my eyes and just let sleep take me.

As promised, two days later I have been released from hospital and now just arrived at Christian's penthouse. I don't really know what to do with myself, this place is beyond anything I had ever imagined, and it's huge. The view of Seattle is spectacular and I love it, I noticed his piano close by, I asked him if he could play and he grinned at me, of course he could. He told me he would give me a proper tour later on but for now I needed to rest and I couldn't argue with him, I was exhausted already. He helped me into one of the spare bedrooms and then left me for a little while so I could get myself sorted. I really wanted a shower, even better a bath, I know I should be taking it steady but I want to feel a little bit more like myself. Slowly I walked into the ensuite and decide I would have a bath. As the bath was running, I wondered back into the bedroom and sat down on the bed, I notice my lucky rucksack out of the corner of my eye and smile. For the first time in a long time, I felt more happier, more at ease with myself, I still had a long way to go and I knew that but I was willing to fight. It's strange, I've known Christian just a little under a week and I am more closer to him than I am to anyone or have been to anyone. We haven't talked about what happened in the hospital where he froze or about the kiss we shared, in fact we haven't kissed since and I can't help but wonder if he now regrets it? He's said himself he only wants to help me, so I can't really expect anything else despite of what I am feeling inside.

I push my thoughts aside and make my way back to the bathroom, that bath has filled up pretty quickly, I turn the water off and then begin to undress myself. I haven't looked at myself in a really long time, I always tried to avoid mirrors wherever possible but now though as there was one large mirror in here with me I couldn't ignore myself. I gasped when I looked at myself in the mirror and tears automatically welled up in my eyes, I look awful, how anyone would want anything to do with me was beyond me, especially Christian, I am a freak. I collapse onto the bathroom floor and wrap a towel around me tightly whilst I burst into tears.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

 **CPOV:**

I feel like myself and Ana have reached a turning point, over the last couple of days whilst she's been in the hospital, I found her opening herself up to me a little bit more, I feel like I am finally getting to know her, that kiss we shared, I'll never forget it, she is so beautiful, I just wanted to carry on kissing her. Once we got the word from the doctor that she could be released I didn't wait around a moment longer than I had to, we finally made our way back to Escala, there was no way I was letting her leave my side.

Once we had reached Escala though, I distanced myself from her a little, I needed time to think, I got her settled into one of my guest bedrooms then disappeared into my office to hide. Now here I am, sitting at my desk thinking of her, she's become so important to be, I'm constantly thinking of her in fact I don't think I even stop, there's just something about her that I can't stay away from. I should go and see if she's okay or if she wants anything but I can't bring myself to move from my seat, I know she's still a little afraid of me and I don't blame her for that, she doesn't know me all that well, maybe that's what I need to do, I'm sure she'll have some questions, maybe I could open up to her, that would be a first for me… _yes, that is exactly what I need to do!_

I quickly leave my office and then make my way to her bedroom to talk, I knock on the door but nothing, I knock again but then still nothing, she could possibly be asleep, I don't waste anytime I have to know if she's okay. I open the door to find the bedroom empty, the bathroom door is only half shut, I walk over and slowly open the door and freeze, I find her curled up in ball on the bathroom floor wrapped in just a towel, her eyes closed, I run over to her and drop to the floor beside her.

"Ana?" no answer.

"Ana?" I say again.

"ANA!" I shout this time, I lightly shake her and eventually she stirs awake, her opens open slowly, they are completely bloodshot, I can tell she's been crying, I ignore the fact that she just wrapped in a towel and pull her into my arms, she immediately starts crying again.

"Ana, don't cry, I don't ever want to see you cry" that only makes her cry harder, so hard in fact that she starts finding it difficult to breathe.

"Calm down baby, take some deep breaths for me" I gently rock her back and forth in my arms. I hear her try and catch her breath, she finally does and falls limp in my arms. I kiss her forehead and hold her to me tightly.

"I don't want to be alone anymore Christian…" she mumbles quietly against my neck.

"Shhhh, you will never be alone Ana, I'm here"

"But what if you go, what if you want me to leave? I've already ruined far too much of your life as it is" I lift her chin up with my hand so that she's forced to look at me.

"I don't ever want to hear you say that again, you have not ruined my life Ana, far from it actually and I am not going anywhere, I'm here and you need to start believing it"

"But…"

"No buts, it's just you and me" she doesn't reply, I don't really expect to her to, she just curls up tighter into a ball in my arms, it's then I notice the bath, she obviously wanted to take a bath.

"Do you want a bath?" I ask her quietly, she shakes her head.

"Ana…"

"I can't look at myself, I can't do it", it's then I realise what she means, the mirror. There's a full length mirror in here and I completely forgot about it.

"I'm so sorry Ana, the mirror"

"It's not your fault Christian" she mumbles quietly. _Yes it is…_

"Do you want me to help you?" I know I probably shouldn't have asked that but she clearly wanted a bath and my own stupidity just ruined it for her. When she doesn't answer, I look down at her and I can see she is thinking of her answer.

"I won't hurt you, I won't do anything you are not comfortable with I promise you, I want to help you, I'll just help you into the bath and I'll remove the mirror for you until you are ready" she nods her head once and I know that's my answer.

With her still in my arms I pull us both to our feet making sure the towel is still wrapped around her body. I look into her eyes and I can see worry in them, I place both of my hands on each side of her face so she looks at me, I lean down to kiss her gently and she immediately responds. She tastes unbelievably sweet and pure, I just want to stay like this, I feel her place her hands on my chest and I automatically go in to stop her but then I realise I don't feel any pain, my heart quickens a bit but I think that's more to do with her touch rather than fear. I lightly trail my tongue along her bottom lip, she tastes far too good, I hear a slight moan come from her and as much as I want to continue this I know we can't, I promised her I wouldn't do anything that she wasn't comfortable with so I reluctantly pull away but I still look at her, I notice her eyes are shining and she's slightly flushed, I kiss her quickly again once more and then set out what we had planned to do in the first place.

I lean over and check the temperature of the bath, it's still warm enough for her to soak in which is good, I just don't want to fuck this up for her, but she's going to be completely naked in front of me in a matter of moments. I take a few quiet deep breaths and then turn back to look at her, she's still standing in the same spot but her eyes are following my every move.

"Trust me okay?" she nods. Without breaking eye contact from her, I slowly remove the towel that's wrapped around her, I can see her take a few deep breaths herself and then she relaxes slightly, as much as I want to, I can't look at her body, she's hate me for it, instead I keep constant eye contact.

"Are you okay?" I ask quietly, I don't quite trust myself to say anything else, again she just nods but doesn't answer. I reach for her hand and squeeze it tightly, she squeezes it back and I can't help but smile slightly. I help her step into the bath one foot at a time, making sure I am stood in front of the mirror at all times, once she's sat down and the water and bubbles have surrounded her tiny frame, I look at her face and see her eyes closed in content, I make short work of removing the full length mirror out of the bathroom and the bedroom, I ask Taylor to move it into another bedroom and then make my way back to Ana. She opens her eyes when she hears me coming and she smiles, her eyes still shining I can tell she's happy, I crouch down on the floor next to her and she turns her head to look at me.

"Thank you" she whispers and reaches out her hand, I willingly take it and hold it in both of mine. I kiss each of her knuckles in turn and I rewarded with her giggle and I light up inside.

"Tell me about yourself?" she asks.

"What would you like to know?"

"Everything, anything and everything, do you have siblings?"

"Yes, an older brother and a younger sister. My brother is called Elliot, and my sister is called Mia"

"And your parents?" she then asks.

"Yes, my father is called Carrick, my mother Grace" she nods.

"Favourite movie?" I can't help but smile.

"I don't really have one, I'm not much of a movie enthusiast…"

"Maybe we can find one together?" I lean over and kiss her lightly.

"I'd like that, what's next in your line of questions?"

"What do you like to do in your spare time?"

"Sailing, flying…"

"Flying?" she asks me and I grin.

"Yes, gliding to be exact"

"You do that?" and I nod still grinning.

"I do, I also have a helicopter" I know I'm showing off a little but I don't care.

"A helicopter, as in a real helicopter?"

"Yes baby, as in a real helicopter"

"That's incredible Christian" and I'm glad she's impressed.

"I'll take you up there one day" and she grins, she has the most beautiful smile.

"I'd like that"

"What's next?" I ask and then she continues her line of questions.

"Favourite colour?"

"Blue" _the colour of your eyes to be exact…_

"I can't think of anything else at the moment" she says next.

"Can I ask you a few questions?" I ask her, she looks at me for a few moments and then nods, I can see she's nervous so I won't push her too hard.

"What's your favourite film?" I ask her first and she smiles.

"That's a difficult one, but aside from the classics, I'd say 8 Mile"

"8 Mile?" and she nods.

"I know it's surprising but it's just inspiring"

"I've never seen all of it, my brother loves it"

"We can watch it together, although I should warn you, I know it word for word"

"As long as we are together, I don't care"

"Next question?"

"Favourite colour?" I ask

"Grey" and I smile.

"Favourite hobbies?"

"Reading mostly, drawing...writing" she says quietly like she's remembering something.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Can you fetch me my rucksack I had with me when you brought me here?"

"Of course" I get up and go and fetch it her, once I've got it I bring it back to her. She asks me to open it and find a notebook in there, I do and pass it her. She opens it up, I barely see pages and pages of drawings, writing, she's obviously looking for something until eventually she stops.

"I wasn't stalking you or anything, it's just I was in the very same park when you passed me by. You couldn't see me but I could see you, after you left, I couldn't think about nothing else and so I started to draw and well…" she pauses as she passes me her notebook and I'm completely taken aback, it's a very clear drawing of me, I look at her and then back at the drawing and then back to her again, I don't really know what to say, I'm stunned for a few moments.

"I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have but…"

"Don't apologise Ana, I'm just a little shocked that's all, I mean this is me" she nods.

"Is this what you meant when you said we've met before?" she freezes and I take it as that's a no.

"No, it isn't" she whispers.

"Tell me Ana, please"

"Just over a year ago I was fired and put it this way, my life turned into a living hell from then on, I couldn't find another job, my rent was always late and I just gave up…so"

"You've been living like this for over a year?" I say a little too sharply and I think I've scared her.

"I had a little money saved but it only lasts for so long, I have it hidden somewhere. I stayed in shelters as much as I could but they are always busy this time of year so sometimes you end up sleeping in parks, or bus stations and I'm not the best sleeper as it is…"

"So how did we meet then?" I'm determined to get it out of her, I need to know.

"The place I worked, you wanted to buy it, I never really knew any of the details and I'm not sure if you even did in the end but my then boss introduced us but I'm not the most talkative person, especially to strangers as you may have noticed so I didn't say anything, I don't I even looked at you to be honest, I was too scared. I'd heard a lot about you and how intimidating you can be and that you are terrifying if anyone gets on the wrong side of you…" I think back for a minute or so, I've bought out a lot of companies over the last year but then it suddenly hits me.

"Wait! I remember now, SIP, I was buying it out...I remember meeting you, I remember wanting to see your face, that's where you worked? Jack Hyde was your boss?" at the mention of Hyde's name, tears form in her eyes and starts shaking.

"Tell me Ana" I squeeze her hand tightly, she calms but shakes her head.

"I fired the fucker pretty much straight after I took over, I didn't trust him. I don't ever listen to rumours but I'd heard a lot about him, he was…he was your boss? You was his assistant? He was rumoured to have bullied, beaten and assaulted his assistant for a year….please tell me Ana, please tell me that wasn't you?" tears are pouring down her face and she nods her head. I want to pull her into my arms but she's in a bath, it would be wrong.

I am going to kill Jack Hyde!

"I'm so sorry Ana, Hyde will pay for this!"

"No!" she shouts, I look at her.

"Please don't, I don't want anything to do with him, I don't want you to have anything to do with him, he'll twist the truth, you won't believe me…"

"That would never happen, I'd believe you over anybody"

"Christian, you don't know what he's like, he's manipulating, he's twisted, he's sadistic, please I don't want him near you" she pleads with me but I can't agree to it, I'm going to kill him.

"How come you never went to the police? Or just told someone?"

"I didn't have anybody to tell, I don't have any family or friends, I don't mix well with people, I'm too quiet and shy. I didn't talk to anyone at SIP unless I had to, I was a freak to them, I was too interested in books. I was too scared to go to the police, even after he fired me, humiliated me in front of everyone he still came to my home, he left me notes in my home and then I just disappeared. I gave up everything and ended up sleeping rough on the streets…I bet you want nothing to do with me now?" she quietly sobs.

"Far from it actually, I want you to stay here with me, I care about you far too much Ana, you've been in my life for only a week and yet I want you always with me. We will get through this together, I'll help you find a job, and he's not at SIP anymore so you can go back there if you want? We can figure out all of this together"

"You mean that?"

"Yes baby I do" and to prove I do, I lean over and place both of my hands on either side of her face and kiss her, once again she responds immediately, I trail my tongue against her bottle lip, I hear her quietly moan and I can't help but smile against her lips. I feel her lift one of her hands up and she runs it through my hair and pulls slightly. I could continue this all night but I want to know her more, I want to talk to her, get her to smile so again I reluctantly pull away and a sad expression falls on her face.

"Hey, don't do that…I just want to know more about you, you can kiss me all you want later" and as I say that, she blushes and giggles. _That's much better…_

"Do you want me to help you wash your hair" I ask her as I see her reach for the shampoo, she looks at me and then nods. She passes me the shampoo and I squirt some into my hand, slowly I gather her hair up and wash it continuously, I look at her and I see she has her eyes closed and I smile, she must like this. Once I'm completely satisfied, I rinse off the shampoo and she opens her eyes again and grins.

"Christian, I don't know how to thank you for everything you've done for me, I've tried to push you away but you just fight back, I've been on my own for far too long and I realise now that I don't want to be alone anymore. I want to stay here with you, you make me happy and I...I trust you. I can't promise it will be easy and I hope you can be patient with me"

"I'll do anything baby, as long as I have you in my life..."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight:**

 **CPOV:**

I ended up sleeping in Ana's room last night, after she had her bath I carried her over to her bed and laid her down, she was exhausted and could barely keep her head up or her eyes open. I sat and watched her sleep for ages before I made a move to leave her alone but as I moved she woke up and asked me to stay with her. I was going to say no but I knew I wouldn't be able to stick to it, I wanted to sleep next to her. Never before have I bothered to sleep next to any girl, I've never had a reason to, now though I want to wake up every morning next to her but I don't think she's ready for that just yet. I curled myself around her as she snuggled into me, her back against my front and my arms wrapped around her tiny frame and we both quickly fell asleep.

I woke up not long ago to find myself in the exact same position I was in the night before, Ana still asleep next to me, I watched her for a while before leaving her to sleep some more, I pressed light kisses on her shoulder blade as I moved away, she mumbled something incoherent but stayed very much asleep, I smile thinking about last night, we talked and talked and talked, I feel like I know her so much better, I know she wants me to not go after Hyde but I have to, he hurt her continuously, I have to make him pay.

I'm sat at the breakfast reading the newspaper when Ana makes an appearance, she borrowed a t-shirt of mine to sleep in last night, I also lent her some of my jogging bottoms, they look ridiculously huge on her but until I take her shopping that's all she really has to wear anyway. She slowly walks over and sits down next to me, straight away I reach for her hand and hold it in my own, I can't help it, I have to be touching her in some way it instantly calms me.

"Sleep well?" I ask her, I sure did, she nods her head, she's gone quiet again, I don't like it, it makes me think she's thinking something over.

"So did I, very well in fact. What would you like for breakfast?" she just shrugs at me.

"Ana, what's wrong?" but before she can answer, Gail and Taylor appear into the kitchen and automatically Ana shields herself away, I'm determined to get her to be more confident around other people, she just about managed it with my Mom, there's no way she will be able to handle Elliot or Mia yet, especially Mia, my baby sister is crazy. In order for me to help Ana, I need to push her to do something she would never do on her own, so I stand up and leave her there on her own with Taylor and Gail, I give Taylor a quick nod of the head and somehow he knows what I am trying to do, I know Ana is probably going to hate me for this but she needs to be pushed in the right direction. I'm hoping Gail will try and make conversation with Ana about what she wants for breakfast. I decide to go shower and change and call Elliot back before I head back out there.

 **APOV:**

Why has he left me here? He knows I'm not good at making conversation with strangers, he knows all of this and yet he's just stood up and left without saying a word but I can't leave, it would be rude to just walk off but I can't just sit here either doing nothing. I don't really know what to do but before I can do anything, the woman, Gail I think her name is starts talking to me.

"You must be Ana, I'm Gail, Mr. Grey's housekeeper" she says to me with a smile, I somehow manage to force a smile back, no matter how beautiful I think Christian is, I actually want to kill him at this moment as I know he has done this on purpose. _He's only trying to help you Ana…_ I suppose that's true, he is trying to help even if he is going about it the wrong way to me. I've just got to say something, anything.

"Ermm, hi" I whisper but I know she hears me because she smiles warmly.

"What would you like for breakfast Ana?"

"Ermm, I don't really know, anything…"

"How about some granola, yoghurt and fresh fruit?" I nod my head, I don't really care what I eat. I notice that Taylor I think is his name has disappeared which I'm quite glad about, I don't really know how to talk to him. I hear footsteps behind me, I turn and see Christian walking back towards me, I want to be mad at him but I know I can't, he smirks at me as he sits back down again.

"You did that on purpose didn't you?" I whisper to him.

"I don't know what you mean" he whispers back smirking.

"Ass" I say under my breath, he doesn't respond so I don't think he heard me say it.

"Once you are feeling better, I'll take you shopping" he says to me next, I gape at him.

"Christian I don't want you to take me shopping, I don't want anything from you, you've already done enough for me, I don't want anything else" he shakes his head and turns to face me.

"Ana, you are being ridiculous, I told you I would help you in any way I can and this is part of me helping you"

"But I don't want you spending any money on me"

"I have enough money, I have more than enough in fact, you need clothes, please stop being so stubborn, it's getting old real quick…" he snaps at me as he stands up and I follow.

"Well maybe I should just go then, I'm obviously an inconvenience to you…"

"Ana, again you are being ridiculous, you can't possibly go anywhere, and in case you hadn't noticed you have nowhere to go, I'm trying to protect you…"

"Protect me from what?"

"Yourself to start with, you tried to fucking kill yourself a week ago and it's an image I am very much trying to get out of my head but unfortunately for me I can't…you walked out in front of a fucking bus Ana, or do you not remember that?" he shouts at me.

"You should have just left me then, I didn't ask you to pull me back, I'd already made the decision to do it and then you go and ruin it" I shout at him back, I've never shouted at anyone in my life.

"BECAUSE I WON'T LET YOU GIVE UP ON YOUR LIFE…" he screams at me now and I instantly back away, he's scaring me now.

"I can't let you do that Ana, you deserve to have the best of everything, and you deserve to have the world, to be happy and safe, not like this, not like you are now and I can't fucking stand it" and before I can say anything else, he walks off towards his office and slams the door whilst I just stand there.

Sometime later I wake up to the sounds of shouting, after Christian had walked off I decided to go and hide in my room, I ended up falling asleep for a little while. I can definitely hear the sound of two voices, one being Christian's I think, and I wonder who he's mad at this time. I quietly leave my room and head towards the raised voices. I stop when Christian comes into view, I take a few more steps and see a young woman standing not that far away glaring at him. She spots me and immediately starts laughing, Christian turns to look at me but doesn't do anything.

"Who's she Christian?" she laughs.

"Megan, I told you to leave, I won't ask you again!"

"Is she another one of your flings, you can't be serious, I mean just look at her"

"Shut the fuck up right now, she is none of your business!"

"She won't last two minutes with you, she's a state and she looks a right tramp, where did you find this one?"

"MEGAN! Enough! Get out of my home and don't you dare come back!"

"So I am just an easy fuck to you?"

"If that's how you want to see it then yes you were just an easy fuck and now we are through so leave…TAYLOR!"

 _So this must be an ex-girlfriend…_ Taylor appears a few moments later.

"Taylor! Please escort her out of here and make sure she stays out" Christian orders Taylor as he makes his way over to me, I don't break eye contact with him as he practically drags me back down the hall towards my room. He closes the door behind him once we are both in here…

"Christian…"

"Don't start Ana"

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"No, I told you I didn't have a girlfriend"

"But she clearly thought something else…"

"Ana, enough! No, she is not my girlfriend, she never was, we fucked, and that's it. I fucked her hard, is that what you wanted to hear!?" tears immediately start to form in my eyes.

"Why are you being so cruel?"

"I'm not being cruel, I am being honest, you asked and I told you"

"Why are you being like this? This morning you were, and last night…"

"I was what, nice? A gentleman? Is that what you think I am Ana?"

"I can't stay here" I whisper as I look around the room.

"Just stop with the 'I can't stay here' bullshit, I am tired of hearing it, you have nowhere else to go, so yes you are staying here"

"I can't, you're scaring me Christian, you wasn't like this, you can't be like this" I walk towards the door but he moves to stand in front of me.

"Ana, please don't…"

"Please move Christian, I don't, I can't be here…" panic starts to rise and I'm beginning to find it difficult to breathe, I start to sway on my feet and I'm immediately in Christian's arms.

"I'm sorry baby, don't go, please stay" he whispers into my ear.

"Take deep breaths baby, you can do it" he whispers next.

"Please let me go, I can't breathe" I whisper trying to push him away, he moves and I immediately run for the door and he doesn't stop me.

 **CPOV:**

 _She's ran, she's fucking gone, she's actually gone and left! What the fuck Grey!_

What the hell am I doing? I want Ana here, I feel like I need her here and yet I've just scared her away, I've scared her so much so that she's took off. Everything seemed perfect last night, we got to know each other a lot more, she slept in my arms all night and this morning is where it all went fucking wrong. I didn't mean to shout at her but her stubbornness is staring to piss me off, she needs to start accepting help, I can understand to a certain extent of why she's a little cautious but it doesn't make feel any less pissed about it. Then Megan shows up and I just lost it, I didn't want Ana anywhere near that part of my life, she deserves a whole lot better than what I am. I want more with Ana, I want to hold her, spoil her, wake up every morning next to her and yet I've gone and done the inevitable, she'll never trust me now.

I quickly run out of her room hoping that she's still in the apartment, realising she's not I run towards the elevator, I can hear Taylor calling me but I ignore him, I have to do this on my own, she's scared of Taylor, she'll keep on running if he's with me. I frantically call for the elevator, I have to find her, I have to bring her back, she deserves a lot better from me, I promised I would keep her safe. She's can't have gone far, she's not well, I know she will tire easily. I run out of Escala and onto the streets, I look around and try and decide which route to take.

"Christian?" I know that voice, I look around and then I spot her, she's sat on the floor, her eyes bloodshot from her tears that are still pouring down her face. _You fucking idiot Grey, look at her!_ I immediately run to her and pick her up off the floor, she wraps her arms around my neck and cries.

"I'm so sorry baby, please forgive me?" I don't get an answer.

"I don't want you to leave, I never want you to leave, I'm sorry for everything that I said, it was cruel, please say you'll stay, I can't let you go" she doesn't answer but she does nod. I carry her back into Escala and towards the elevator ignoring all the looks we are getting.

"I don't want to leave Christian" she mumbles faintly and I pull her against me tighter.

"I won't let you baby, I will never let you" I kiss her hair repeatedly and head back towards our home.


	9. Chapter 9

_Authors Note:_

 _Thank you for all the lovely comments, they are really appreciated. I'm glad you are all enjoying reading this story, I'm enjoying writing it. I know my other story has kind of taken a back foot and I apologise for that, I'm just stuck on this story and I can't get it out of my head, I'll update it as soon as I can. Here's the next chapter for you, I do hope you like it, you'll understand why I am saying this once you have read it._

 **Chapter Nine:**

 **CPOV:**

I really need to change my attitude if I have any hope in getting Ana to stay here, I know I have lost her trust a little bit and I can only blame myself for that, I need to somehow make it up to her, she doesn't want me to spend any money on her and money is the only thing I have to use so I need to think of something else. She hasn't said a word to me since I carried her back here, I don't really know what I can say to be honest, every time I go to open my mouth nothing comes out, I don't know how to say what it is that I want to say. Whilst I've been hiding in my office catching up on my work, I really need to go to GEH tomorrow, I've never in my life missed a day off work, she's been asleep on and off, she wondered off back towards her room and only came out to get a drink and then disappeared again.

I can't stand this distance between us already, yesterday or last night rather was perfect, we got talking about anything and everything, I washed her hair, she slept in my arms all night, she told me she trusted me and now look at us? I'm hiding away in my office whilst she's hiding in her bedroom. A part of me doesn't even want her to be in that bedroom, I want her to be in mine but I can't push her, after today she probably wants nothing more to do with me. I try and push these thoughts of out my head and catch up on all of the work I have missed but instead I end up thinking of ways to make it up to her until eventually I come up with one, I just hope she likes it, it will just have to wait until tomorrow for me to organise it.

By the time I have finished with all my work, the entire day is nearly almost gone, I need to go and see her and make sure she's okay. It doesn't take me long to find her, she's sat in the kitchen whilst Gail is making dinner, I'm glad she's eating a little bit more, not as much as I would like but it's a start and I have to keep on remembering that it's all a very slow process. She lifts her head up when she sees me coming and to my surprise, she gets up and makes her way over to me, we meet half way and before I can say or do anything, she curls herself into my arms and I immediately wrap mine around her tightly.

"I'm sorry…" I hear her whisper. _What for?_

"You have nothing to be sorry about, this was all me…are you okay?"

"I am now" and I can help but smile and kiss the top of her head. We stand there for a few minutes just holding each other before Gail announces dinner is ready, I reluctantly pull away but smile warmly at her and she immediately smiles back, I take hold of her hand and we walk together towards dinner. We both eat and silence for a while before I can no longer stand it.

"Ana, we need to talk" as soon as those words leave my mouth I hear her sigh.

"I know" and I nod, I decide to continue when she doesn't speak.

"First off I want to say how sorry I am about the way I have been behaving, you were right, I was being cruel and it was completely unfair. I don't want my past mixing with my future or well what I hope to be my future anyway, I don't want anything or anyone to hurt you even if that's me, it was unforgiveable, I just hope in time you will be able trust me again…"

"I still trust you Christian, more than anyone. I won't lie, you scared me and I wanted to run but then I couldn't, I have to stay, well not because I have to but because I want to. I want to stay with you, I don't know what will happen down the line and I don't know where I'll be or what you'll be doing but I want to be in your life, I think we just need to figure out what we want from each other, don't you?"

 _This woman is a miracle…_

"You're right, I won't lie to you, I know what I want but I don't want to push you or force you into anything. You have to be able to trust me fully, I know you say you do but I know there's still some doubt there and I'm not mad at you for that, you have every right to be after the way I behaved today but in time I just hope that we can move forward and I hope together" her facial expression just about says it all, she had no idea I was about to say that.

"You…you want to be with me?" she managed to get out.

"Yes I do, more than anything but I won't pressure you, you have to think about yourself first, I want you to get better and we still have a lot to learn and know about each other first"

"But how can you…" I know what she's going to say so I cut her off.

"Don't finish that sentence, you can't see what I see Ana, what I see is the most beautiful girl in the world, you have been since the moment I met you and you always will be. You are so strong, smart, and unbelievably stubborn, you have the most beautiful blue eyes that I could get lost in…" I stop when I notice tears falling from her eyes, I catch them quick with my thumb.

"…and I hate seeing you cry baby" and then she smiles.

"And I happen to love your smile and your giggle" I add on which in turn makes her giggle with tears still falling from her eyes, she looks at me and then looks down and then looks up at me again.

"I guess I should be honest with you" she whispers.

"Baby, you don't have to do or say anything"

"But I want to, I have to get this out otherwise I will go crazy" I smile, nod and wait for her to continue.

"Christian, what you've just said, nobody has ever said that to me before and I only doubt it because of the years I've spent hearing the exact opposite but you, you make me feel something I have never felt before and I want to carry on feeling that feeling for as long as possible. When we kissed, I just, I want to never forget it. I know we didn't have a smooth beginning, and I know I almost…well you know what I almost did but I'm glad you saved me, because now I know you and I want to know you better. We do still have a lot to learn and know about each other…I guess what I am trying to tell you is that I want to be with you too, I don't want to go anywhere else, I just hope you know that" I can't help the grin on my face.

"Oh and I happen to love your smile and your eyes, you are an incredible, beautiful man Christian Grey" I don't reply, I don't think I even need to, I pull her to me and I immediately kiss her with all that I have. I am never going to let her go, I never want to let her go. I can't help the smile that appears across my face with my lips against hers, I truly see her for what she really is, and she is perfection. She pulls away for a second and continues to run her hands through my hair, I close my eyes at her touch.

"Another thing, I thought about what you said, I do need some clothes, as much as I love your t-shirts, I need to get my life back together, so will you help me?"

"You don't even have to ask me baby, I will help you in any way I can"

"Thank you Christian"

"You don't need to thank me Ana"

"Yes I do, for more than you know" and as she says this, she yawns.

"Are you tired baby?"

"A little bit I want to stay awake, I want to talk, I want to know more about you"

"You have all the time in the world Ana, you can ask me anything you want, tomorrow I do have a surprise for you but I want you to remember what the doctor said, when you feel tired, go and lay down and rest…"

"Will you come and lie with me for a little while?"

"Of course I will, come on" and before she can reply, I pick her up in my arms, she rests her head against my shoulder and closes her eyes, she'll be asleep in no time.

"What's the surprise?" she mumbles.

"You'll find out tomorrow baby" I whisper in her ear, she says something else but I don't quite catch it. I pause outside my bedroom door for a second, I want her to sleep in here with me.

"Christian?" she mumbles, I look down at her and I see her eyes open.

"Yes Ana?"

"I want to sleep in here with you" and then she closes her eyes again, she can't see the huge grin on my face right now. As carefully as I can, I enter my bedroom, I pull back the covers and lay her down, she smiles as I kiss her repeatedly all over her face, I pull the covers over her and tuck her in. I move round to the other side and lie down next to her on top of the covers and wrap my arms around her. Her breathing has slowed down and I know she's fast asleep but I don't move, I stay exactly where I am, she starts to mumble in her sleep and I smile.

"I think I could end up falling in love with you" she mumbles and that I do hear loud and clear, I stare at her for a while hoping she'll say more but she doesn't, I close my eyes and sleep finds me easy, I can't wait for tomorrow.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten:**

 **CPOV:**

I wake as the sun starts to rise up through the window, Ana is still fast asleep in my arms, I lean over and plant kisses along her shoulder, her neck, she smiles and begins to stir awake.

"Good morning baby" I whisper in her ear.

"I think that was the best night's sleep I ever had" she whispers.

"Me too"

"Can we just stay here?"

"I'd love that but I have plans for us today"

"Are you going to tell me?"

"Nope, but you'll love it I promise"

"Ok, I trust you" I climb off the bed and pull her to her feet and she giggles. I can't wait to get today started, first things first though, she needs to eat and so do I for that matter, I take her hand and lead her out of my room and towards the smell of breakfast. I love watching her eat, even though it's not much, she's building up her strength and I could not be happier. We still have a long way to go though and I have to keep remembering that but together we can do it, I know we can. I know she wants to talk more and I know she wants to know more about me and I know she means my past, I just don't want to scare her, especially not after yesterday, my past isn't something I am proud of, far from it actually, but she needs to know and I do plan on telling her today, just after everything I have planned for her. We finish our breakfast together and it's then I decide to begin our day.

"Ready baby?" I ask her.

"Yes but, are we going somewhere? I have nothing to wear and I…"

"Ana, I know that, there's something in your room for you, I had it sent over, I don't want you worrying about a thing baby, I promise you, today is all about you and I know you would never leave this place, now go and get ready, we will leave as soon as possible"

"But Christian…"

"Please baby, don't worry about a thing…"

"But…" I should have known she would be stubborn about this.

"I will be with you, I won't leave your side I promise you and we can come home whenever you want"

"Do you promise?" I reach over and pull her into my arms.

"I promise you, I'll be with you"

"Okay, I'll go and get ready" I kiss her once and then let her go, I watch her leave and then I turn back to my coffee, I send a few emails out, next week is going to be a busy one for me, I'll have back to back meetings all week because I've taken a bit of time off, no wonder I've never done it before. But I push that aside for now and concentrate on Ana, I hope she enjoys today, I just want to see her smile.

I check with Taylor about the weather conditions for today, as luck would have it it's going to be a clear day but I've made sure there's still extra blankets just in case Ana gets old, I want to see nothing but a smile on her face today. I finish my coffee then head back towards my bedroom to get showered and dressed, it doesn't take me long to get ready, I'm dressed in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, I make sure I've got everything, phone, keys, wallet and then head back out to wait for Ana to appear.

 **APOV:**

What is he planning? I think as I walk back to my bedroom, I can tell he's excited about whatever it is, I'm excited too but I'm also very nervous, I'm nervous about going outside, I don't want to embarrass Christian, he's a recognisable man, a beautiful man at that and I just know people are going to stare, what if the paparazzi see is and we end up in the newspapers tomorrow, what if he's ashamed to be seen with me and the asks me to leave, what will I do then?

I get to my bedroom and close the door behind me, I close my eyes and take a couple of deep breaths, once I've calmed myself down a little I open my eyes and notice a bag on the bed. I sit down next to it and look into the bag, I pull out a simple pair of jeans, a blue t-shirt, a jumper and new underwear. I shake my head and mutter Christian's name, how would he even know what size I am, I'm tiny as it is anyway, I quickly shower, pull my hair up into a messy bun and then begin to get dressed. The jeans are only a little too big for me but it's hardly noticeable and I don't mind the t-shirt loose on me, I quickly wash my face and brush my teeth, I'm glad there's no mirror in here anymore so I don't have to look at myself. With one final deep breath I leave the bedroom and go in search for Christian.

I find him sat at the breakfast bar typing away on his laptop, he looks up when he hears me coming, I stop still quite a distance away from him unsure of what to do next. He immediately shuts down his laptop and stands up to make his way over to me. I watch him as he stands right in front of me and smiles.

"You look beautiful" and I can't help but blush. How can someone look beautiful in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

"Are you ready to go?" he asks next.

"Yes, I think so, are you going to tell me where it is we are actually going?"

"Do you want to know?" he asks grinning and I nod again.

"You'll find out soon enough, come on let's go"

"Christian!" I whine and he laughs at me as he takes hold of my hand and leads us towards the elevator.

 **CPOV:**

Once we arrive at our destination, I see Ana is a little reluctant to get out of the car, I take hold of her hand and squeeze it gently, she looks up at me and bites her lip and it's as if the air has been taken out of my lungs, how have I not noticed that before? _Focus Grey!_

"Ana, I'm right here…"

"I know, I just…what if…"

"No baby, promise me I'll see nothing but your smile today, it's just going to be me and you I promise, nobody else"

"Okay" she replies. I nod and then get out of the car, I quickly make my way to her side and let her out, I hold out my hand and she takes it, once she gets out she starts to look around.

"Christian, why are we at the harbour?" she asks.

"Do you remember what I told you about what I love to do in my spare time?"

"Yes, flying and…and sailing, wait are we?"

"Come on and I'll show you" I put my arm around her shoulder and walk slowly down the harbour. I watch her as she looks around in awe at all the boats around us and I wonder if she'll like mine. I suddenly stop and turn her to look at me, her eyes are bright and shining, I lean down and her kiss gently.

"Are you okay?" I ask her and she smiles.

"Yes, Christian this is…" she trails off.

"Turn around" I whisper and she does.

"Christian, is this, is this yours?"

"Yes, do you like it?"

"Christian, it's beautiful"

"Would you like to come aboard?" she nods smiling, I get on board first and then hold out my hands for her to take, she does but then I decide to lift her up and I finally hear her giggle. Once she's aboard, I put her down but keep my arms wrapped around her, she snuggles into my chest with her arms wrapped around me.

"I'll always protect you Ana, I'll be here with you I promise"

"I know", I kiss her forehead and hold her for a few more minutes.

"What's her name Christian? The boat I mean?" she asks.

"The Grace, I named her after my mother"

"That's lovely Christian, I'm sure she loves it"

"She saved my life once, I owe her everything"

"She did? When?"

"It was a long time ago, I'll tell you later for now though, we are focusing on me and you" I can't tell her about that part of my past just yet, I want to focus on us first.

"I wanted to take you out today but it's a little rough so we will have to stay here instead, we can even stay and watch the sunset if you want?"

"Christian, the fact that we've come here at all is enough for me, thank you"

"You are most welcome, would you like a tour?"

"Yes please"

We spend the next half an hour or so me taking her on a tour of my boat, she seems fascinating about everything that I tell her, she even asks if she can learn how to sail and I'm immediately thrilled by this, we can then sail together. Gail had packed a picnic for us and we sit down and talk about everything, I try and keep the conversation mostly on her, I want to know everything there is about her, down to the smallest detail, she truly amazes me, she's been through so much and yet she's here to tell the tale, I don't mention anything about Jack Hyde or that I've got some of men searching for him, he's going to pay for what he's done but she doesn't need to know that, I've got to keep her safe, I have to protect her, I promised her I would.

"Christian, are you okay? You seem distracted?" her voice brings me back to the here and now.

"Yes, sorry"

"Are you sure? You've gone really quiet?"

"Yes, I'm sure Ana" but I know she's not going to give up.

"I know what you are doing? You keep asking all these questions about me but when I ask something about you, you either give me a very short answer or turn it back on me, why won't you talk about yourself?"

"Because today is all about you, not me…"

"But I want to know more about you?"

"Ana, please don't ask me to tell you now?"

"Why not?"

"Because it's not something I like talking about"

"It works both ways you know this, whatever this is I don't know, you promise you'll protect me and I promise you I'll protect you here and now because I will, I never want to see you hurt and I see that you are so please just to tell me, I'm not going anywhere…" she's right, I have to trust her with this, I have trust she's stay with me.

"Okay, I will tell you"


	11. Chapter 11

_Authors Note:_

 _I apologise for delay, I've had a busy couple of days, however I'm back now and here is a new chapter for you, it's not the best but I felt like I should give you something anyway. Thanks again for reading and enjoy!_

 **Chapter Eleven:**

 **APOV:**

I sit and wait for him to start talking, I don't know much about his life, and everything I do know is what he's already told me himself. I can tell he's thinking things over in his head and what's the best way to say whatever it is. I reach over and take his hand in both of mine, eventually he speaks;

"I was adopted, when I was four years old, my life before becoming a Grey was difficult. My birth mother was a crack addict and a prostitute, she killed herself…her pimp used to beat me whenever he felt like it, he left me with her dead body for days before anyone even realised…I've never forgotten it and I don't think I ever will" I never thought he would say that to me, I don't even know how to react.

"Christian I, I don't know what to say…"

"You don't have to say anything to me Ana"

"But…"

"Ana, just you being here is enough for me, I'm telling you because you asked and I trust you, but I don't particularly like talking about this part of my past"

"I'm not going anywhere" I vow and it's true, I'm not.

"There's more…" I don't reply, I just wait for him to continue.

"I didn't make it easy for my new family, nobody is allowed to touch my chest or my back…"

"I have" interrupt, I feel confused.

"I know you have, I can't explain it, your touch doesn't hurt, it doesn't burn"

"Burn?"

"Her pimp used me as an ashtray" I gasp, tears begin to form in my eyes.

"You were just a child" I whisper.

"When I turned fifteen, I was an out of control hormonal teenager, I got into fight after fight, expelled from school three times, I couldn't bare to be touched but on some level I craved it too, fighting helped but only slightly, pain was all I'd ever known…"

"What changed?"

"Before I tell you this, I have to ask you to please try and understand…" I nod and wait for him to continue.

"Sex, I used sex as a way to get myself back in control of my life…I was seduced by my mother's friend when I was fifteen, we had a long standing affair for six years"

"You, wait…you, when you was fifteen?" and he nods watching me closely.

"That's child abuse Christian"

"Ana, it wasn't…"

"Yes it was, you were just a child still"

"No, I wasn't, I was a man, but I was out of control, I would have ended up dead if it wasn't for her help"

"She didn't help you Christian"

"Yes she did, I wouldn't be who I am now if it wasn't for her"

"It doesn't make any sense, you said you couldn't tolerate being touched so how did you…" I train off, I don't want to know the answer to this.

"She understood my issues, she never touched me"

"But how?"

"I tied her up or I…" he doesn't finish that sentence and I'm glad.

"So all the girls you've had since then, they've never touched you and you…" he nods, I feel sick.

"Please don't judge me Ana, I don't want you to be afraid of me"

"I'm not Christian, I'm just shocked, I never thought this would be what you were planning on telling me, if I hadn't asked, were you not going to tell me?"

"Yes Ana I was going to tell you but I didn't want to spoil today"

"You haven't spoilt anything Christian, who was she?"

"Who was who?"

"Your mother's friend, who was she?"

"Ana, I don't want you to be involved in this?"

"But I want to know…"

"You've met her…" he says eventually.

"I have? When?" I think back to a time when I could have possibly met her and then it clicks.

"The café, that women who kicked me out, who you was then talking to?" he nods once.

"You still talk to her?"

"She's a friend Ana, that's all"

"How can she be?

"Ana please try and understand this…"

"Did you find it acceptable the way she treated me?"

"No, of course I didn't Ana, I ran after you, you know that"

"Because you probably thought I would be an easy fuck" I snap.

"Ana, enough of that, you know I didn't"

"Do I?"

"Yes you do, I would never think that about you, I want you in my life, I want you with me, I don't know how else to say that"

"And if I decided to up and go right now, would you stop me?"

"You're leaving?" and I can hear the panic in his voice.

"Answer the question Christian?"

"Yes, I would stop you, I don't want you to leave. We've had this conversation before Ana, I'm not using you, I'm not doing all this just so I will be glad to see the back of you, I want to take you out, I want to spoil you, cherish you, hold you in my arms whilst you sleep…I've never had that before and I've never wanted it before but now I do and I want it with you"

"But why? You could have any girl you want, any girl would jump at the chance to have a one night stand with you, what's changed? Because I won't do that?"

"Don't you see Ana? That's what's changed, I know you won't and that's why I can't let you leave, you give me hope, you give me a chance to believe that I could have something that means so much more, I met you and my life flipped but only for the better. I just want you to understand that I would never be that guy with you, you deserve so much more than the guy I used to be…please let me try and be the guy you want?"

"Christian, I don't know how to do this, I've never been in a relationship"

"Neither have I"

"But you've been with plenty of women and I…"I trail off again.

"And if I could erase all of them I would because I know that's why you are doubting this"

"I think I just need some time, I'm not leaving but I need to figure out everything you've told me today, I'm so confused"

"Ana, my past is my past I cannot change it"

"I know you can't and I cannot change mine either, I'm not one of those people who can easily go out and have fun, I can't talk to people very well, you're the exception, I've only ever been drunk once in my life and I don't have the desire to ever be again, I've never had a boyfriend and I've never had…"

"Ana I don't care, I didn't care when I met you and I don't care now, I want to be with you"

"I've never had sex Christian" and I watch his eyes widen, I knew I shouldn't have said anything. It feels like endless minutes before he says something, he leans forward and takes hold of my face in both of hands.

"That doesn't bother me either, in fact it just makes it all the more special for the both of us, I'm not saying all of this hoping to get you into my bed as quick as possible. I want to do this right, I want to do this right for the both of us, I am never going to rush you into anything baby, I promise you"

"But you're a guy and…"

"Yes, I'm a guy but I know what I want and what's worth waiting for and she happens to be in my arms right now"

"I don't know what to say"

"Say nothing baby…"

"Well can I say something?" I ask and he nods.

"So am I your girlfriend now?" and he grins and takes hold of both of my hands.

"Anastasia Steele, will you be my girlfriend?" A giggle escapes my lips and he grins all the more.

"Yes, I will be your girlfriend but please be patient with me"

"Always baby, always" and before I know it, his lips are on mine. It's hard to believe this beautiful man wants to be with me, he wants to wait for when I'm ready, I don't fully understand it but I don't want to question it either, I just know I want to be with him, _my boyfriend._

We spent the rest of the afternoon or should I say I spent the rest of the afternoon asleep in Christian's arms, all the talking wore me out and I felt exhausted by the end of it. He didn't seem to mind though, apparently he loves to watch me sleep. He gently woke me up as the sun was beginning to set, I was covered in blankets, I felt a little too warm but Christian was having none of it, the blankets were staying on. I curled up next him and watched the sun set, I didn't mind that we hadn't left the harbour, everything about today had been perfect in my eyes.

Soon enough, it was beginning to turn cold and I had to reluctantly agree to head back for Escala. Christian held my hand the entire journey back, softly rubbing each one of my knuckles in turn. The car pulled up in the underneath parking lot, Christian got out first and I followed him, he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, I put one of mine around his waist and reach for his hand this was dangling over my shoulder with my other free hand, we laced our hands together and walked slowly towards the elevator and back to his penthouse. Neither of said much, Christian occasionally kissed the top of my head and pulled me tighter towards him, I never wanted today to end despite what he told me, I never wanted to meet that woman again, she abused him whether he wanted to admit or not.

The elevator pinged open and Christian instantly froze next to me, I looked up to see what he had suddenly froze at and I instantly felt physically sick, the one person I didn't want to see was standing in front of us smirking, it was her, that woman, the woman from the coffee shop, the woman who had abused Christian as a child, I felt the warmth of his body leave mine as he removed his arms from around me and moved forward leaving me standing there alone.

"Caught in the act…" I heard her sneer at us.

"What are you doing here?"

I hadn't heard from you, you never replied to any of my messages, I was concerned…"

"You don't need to be, I'll call you later" he will, why is he going to call her?

"There's no need darling, I will just see you next Saturday at your parents and we will catch up then, looks like we have a lot to talk about" she says glaring at me.

"Fine, I will see you then" I can't believe him, why is agreeing to see her? _Because they are friends…_ "

"It will be good for us Christian, I have a feeling you have lost your way a little"

"I'll see you on Saturday Elena, please just leave us"

"As you wish darling, I will leave…" she reaches up and kisses him on the cheek before walking towards me, she smirks at me and then turns to Christian again.

"Before I forget, I ran into Megan yesterday, she wasn't happy Christian, make it right" She knows his ex-girlfriends too?

"Goodbye Elena" Christian said sharply, ignoring her comment about his ex. Without another word, she disappears inside the elevator and then it's just the two of us once more.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve:**

"Christian, what was that all about?"

"Ana, please don't listen to a word she says…"

"It's hard not to when she's looking at me like she wants to kill me for being here, Christian why are you still friends with her?"

"Ana, I've told you, she helped me a lot when I was younger, I owe her a lot, she helped me get my business started, she's just a friend that's all"

"She's a child abuser Christian…"

"Ana, I didn't see it like that, I wanted what she was offering me"

"That doesn't matter, she shouldn't have done it in the first place"

"Ana I don't want this conversation if we are going to end up arguing, I don't want to upset you"

"Upset me?"

"Yes upset you, I'm not asking you to be friends with her although that would make everything a lot easier. She's been a family friend for years and yes we had an affair but it ended a long time ago"

"How does she know your ex?"

"They've met once or twice?"

"Met how?" and when he doesn't answer, it clicks again.

"You met Megan through her didn't you?"

"Ana please just…"

"No I don't think I can, that woman introduced you to Megan didn't she?"

"Fine, yes Ana she did" I think shocked wouldn't justify my feelings right now.

"Is that how you met all of your ex-girlfriends or flings? Through that woman?"

"Of course not" but I can tell he's lying.

"Christian, please tell me the truth?"

"That is the truth"

"No it isn't, your lying, just tell me"

"OK! Fine, yes Ana, every woman I have met or have been with has been through Elena"

"Christian, can't you see it, she's controlling you, she certainly doesn't like me and I'm guessing it's because you didn't meet me through her, well technically you did when she was throwing me out of her café but that's because she thought I was a piece of worthless shit on her precious heels." I shout.

"Ana, please stop it"

"Please tell you see it" I manage to get out, my voice is breaking and tears are forming in my eyes.

"Ana, please calm down, please, please calm down" he steps forward and tries to reach for me but I step backwards.

"Ana, please listen to me, I don't want to hurt you, that's the last thing I want, it's all in my past, I cannot change it, please try and be reasonable" he really doesn't see it.

"I can be reasonable, maybe I can accept your affair with her in time but I cannot accept what's happening with her now and I cannot accept the age of which you were when this started, it's child abuse. I can't be friends with her, I can't be around her, she's controlling your life, you said it yourself that you've never wanted more until you met me, don't you think that's because you've never been given the chance, she won't let you, she knows that if you do, she won't be as important as she is now in your life…you've met me and now something has changed and she knows it so now she's threatened, please see this?" I watch him as he slowly sinks into a chair, his face in his hands, I'm unsure what to do so I remain on the spot and wait for him to talk, he eventually looks up at me, his face full of pain and regret.

"Ana I...I know okay, believe me I know but I can't get her out of my life, she will tell my family, they will hate me, my mother especially" I move and sit down next to him.

"Christian, your family would not hate you, they would never hate you. Graces loves you unconditionally, you're her son, I can see that by just looking at you both together"

"No…no they can't know, she can't know"

"Christian…"

"No Ana, they can never know. My personal life is private, even from my family…they can never know, it would crush them, they're the perfect family but I am far from perfect after some of the things I have done, Elena knows everything, she would tell them in a heartbeat…"

"But would she? You've said she's a long family friend, a friend to Grace, would she say something if you decided to cut her out of your life?"

"Yes she would"

"Then she's no friend to your family and certainly not to Grace and to you, I don't want to see you like this, you froze completely when you saw her here, why?"

"Because now that she's seen us together, she will do anything to get us to split, she will do anything to drive you away from me"

"And you want that to happen?"

"No, of course I don't, I've told you how I feel"

"But then you are going to let her continue on like this?"

"I have no choice"

"You always have a choice Christian…"

"Ana, I don't…you can't leave me"

"Christian I…"

"No please don't Ana, I can't let you leave me, I want everything with you"

"That's what I want too"

"Then why are we even talking about this, we've had a perfect day, the best day of my life…why are we now spoiling it because of her?"

"Christian, we have to talk about this?"

"Tomorrow okay, we can talk about it all tomorrow I promise but for now can I just hold you for a little while, I feel like I haven't in hours and I miss you" I nod and wait for him to pull me into his arms which he does in seconds. His arms wrap around me tightly as I relax into his chest, he smells like home but I also know deep down inside that home isn't here, not yet. Tears form in my eyes as I realise what it is I have to do, just doing it is going to break my heart into pieces. I cling on to him tightly as I keep the tears at bay, I can cry on my own later on. He lifts up my chin so he can look into my eyes.

"You have beautiful blue eyes Anastasia Steele, I could look at them forever" he whispers before he kisses each of my eyes over and over again, I almost break down on the spot.

"You look exhausted baby, do you want to sleep?" I nod my head once, I don't trust myself to talk.

"Ok, come on, I'll get you tucked in" and then I realise, I can't sleep in his room with him.

"Christian, if it's okay, I want to sleep in my own room tonight, I just need a little space…" I say as I try to stop my voice from shaking.

"Of course baby, I understand, come on let's get you into bed so you can sleep"

He leads me down the hall towards my room, I know I have to at least pretend to go to sleep, I also know I have to wait until he's asleep also otherwise I know I will never be able to leave, I'm not brave enough to say it to his face. Once I'm changed, he tucks me into bed and sits down next to me on the bed.

"You sure you're okay?" he asks and I nod.

"Yes, I'll be fine, please Christian, go and get some sleep, you need it too"

"I will baby, if you need anything, you know where I am"

"I know" I whisper, he leans down to kiss me goodnight, I deepen the kiss knowing it might be our last one. _No, I must not think that, I know we belong together…_

"Goodnight beautiful girl, I'll see you in the morning" he whispers against my lips, I smile as best I can and watch him leave the room closing the door behind him. I don't really know what to do next, I don't know how long to wait, I look at the clock next to my bed, it only reads 11pm and I also know Christian is going to be awake for a few more hours, he always is, so all I can do is wait. I grab hold of my rucksack and then turn on the bedside lamp, I decide I need to write Christian a letter, I can't let him think I have just disappeared without even explaining, I just hope he will understand why I am doing this, I also decided to draw him something.

The next time I look at the clock I realise it's past one in the morning, the letter I have written is finished, I've packed up all my belongings in this room, I've got no choice but to leave my other stuff that's in Christian's room behind. There's a couple of his t-shirts in here and I decide to take them with me, I need them with me. I leave the letter and the drawing on my pillow and then pick up my rucksack, as quietly as I can, I leave the room but not before taking one last look. I walk down the corridor quietly, I don't pause outside Christian's room, if I am going to leave, I have to go now, I can't stop and try and convince myself to stay.

I reach the elevator and wait for it to arrive, I turn to face the penthouse on last time as I wait for the doors to close, I know I am doing the right thing, he has to make a choice and I can't be around whilst he does it, I just don't want him to hate me. The elevator doors finally close and I finally descend down to the foyer of Escala as tears start to roll down my face. I just I know will be back here at another point in my life but for now, for myself, I have to get my life back on my own.

 **CPOV:**

I wake the next morning with a start, something is not right, I can feel that something is not right. I jump out of bed without a second thought and run towards Ana's room. I open the door and immediately start to panic, she's not here. I run and check the rest of my penthouse, she's not here, she's gone, she's gone and left me. I return back to her room and collapse on her bed, tears threatening to build up in my eyes, why has she done this now? But deep down, I know why and a part of me doesn't blame her. I open my eyes and see a folded up piece of paper with my name on it on her pillow, this must be from Ana, I open it up and begin to read:

 _Dear Christian,_

 _This is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life but it needed to be done, by the time you read this I will have gone, please do not try and look for me even though I know that is asking a lot. As much as I care for you and how much I want to be with you, I know I can't, not whilst are you still in contact with her, I partially understand that she is your mothers friend but that doesn't make it at all acceptable about what she did to you, what's she still doing to you, she's controlling your life and until you finally realise for good that she is because I don't think you do at this moment, we can't be together. You've already said that she will try and drive me away and in truth, she's succeeded. I can't stay here, I can't put myself in danger, I have to get my life back on track and I promise you I will, believe in me enough to know that I will be okay on my own. If your family knew the truth, they would not hate you like you fear they will, they love you unconditionally, Grace especially, please try and understand why I am doing this and please don't hate me, most importantly don't hate yourself, I don't want that, I want you to see that you are loved, especially by me. I don't really know where I am going to end up, I don't have a plan but that doesn't matter, I have lived in this world long enough to realise nothing in this world is easy. But I will never forget what you did for me, you saved my life in more ways than one and I thank you for that. You mean the world to me Christian Grey and I hope that one day we can be together. Until then, until that day we meet again, all my love and my heart is with you, love, your Ana._

She's gone and I can already feel my heart breaking, I see another piece of paper on her pillow, hesitantly I open it up and to my surprise, I smile, this girl has my complete heart and in time I will have her back and this time it will be forever.


	13. Chapter 13

_Authors Note:_

 _First off, before you read this chapter I want to mention some of the comments and messages I received regarding the last chapter. The ONE thing you should know is that this is MY story and I WON'T be bullied into writing it a different way just because you don't like it, I'm not one of those people you can intimidate and bully, it's disgusting and disrespectful to be honest and I will fight back on anyone who says something. The simple answer is, if you don't like it, don't read it, I couldn't care less. It's fiction, it isn't real life, I have no problem with stopping this story altogether on here and posting it somewhere else because believe me I will do it. Secondly however, I'd like to say thank you to all of those who actually like this story and keep asking for more, this is for all of you, and you might find some parts of this chapter familiar, so enjoy!_

 **Chapter Thirteen:**

 **NINE MONTHS LATER:**

 **CPOV:**

It's been nine months, nine months to the day that Ana walk out of my life, I think about her every day, sometimes every moment of the day. I tried but I never found her, I tried for weeks, she well and truly disappeared from my life, it's almost like she never existed but she did, she did exist and she was with me for a time until I lost her. She asked me not to hate her and I don't, I never could and I never will, she meant more to me than I ever thought possible and she still does if not more. I know I want her back but I don't where to start in looking for her, she could be anywhere, she made me a promise that she would be okay on her own, that she would get her life back and I just hope she has, in fact I know she has, she would not have failed. I do worry about her though, I worry about her constantly, I worry about if she's healthy, if she's eating, where she's sleeping at night but I can't do anything about it because there's no trace of her. Taylor has been on the constant look out for her but there's been no luck, he's just as stumped as I am. I still have the letter she wrote to me, I keep it in my bed side drawer at home, I read it from time to time. But the picture she drew, the one she also left me is framed and is hanging on the wall at my office at GEH so I can look at it when I'm in a boring meeting or conference call. I don't know how she did it but she drew a picture of us together on my boat watching the sun set, that day will always be the best in my life.

Now though, I need to stop thinking about her and get myself to work, as always Taylor is waiting for me and soon enough we are driving through the streets of Seattle towards GEH. I lean my head back and rest it against the backseat and stare aimlessly out of the car window, to say my life has changed over the last six months would be an understatement. I know I am a better man now, a man who is close enough to being than man that Ana deserves to be with. At work however, I haven't changed much, I'm still very much the CEO, I can be an arrogant prick at times, a cocky one too and not to mention a ruthless bastard but I have to be in order for me to get what I want which is usually what happens. I'm interrupted in my thoughts as Andrea enters my office to inform me about my next meeting.

"Sir, Miss Kate Kavanagh is here to see you" yes of course, Kate, my brothers current girlfriend is here to see me, she's a journalist and as a favour to my brother I agreed to do a short interview with her. I'd only met her once at our family home but I agreed to this anyway much to my reluctance. I nod my head at Andrea to let her in, the sooner this was over with, the better. I had told Elliot to tell Kate not to ask about my personal life, it wasn't any of her business. I stand and look out at the view of Seattle and wait for Kate to enter my office. What distracts is a commotion at the door, I turn around and just about manage to see a petite, brunette fall to the ground that definitely isn't Kate as I know she is blonde. What shocks me the most is that when she finally looks up and looks me in the eye, I freeze, I recognise those eyes, I would recognise those eyes anywhere, and I've never forgotten them.

"Ana?" I whisper, my throat suddenly very dry.

"Christian…" her voice is hoarse and I see tears in her eyes. _What is she doing here?_

"What are you doing here?" I have to ask her because right now, I have no idea, she stands up before I can reach her.

"I…Kate is a friend of mine, she has the flu and she asked me to step in to help her"

"And you agreed?"

"I, yes I did eventually, I said no at first, I'm sorry Christian, I can go and Kate can come back at a later date when she feels a little better…"

"No, please stay, I'm just a little shocked that's all, I mean you are here, here now after what, nine months"

"You remembered?"

"Of course I did, I've never forgotten, please Ana, come and sit" I say as I gesture towards my desk, I watch her as she walks past me, she's still beautiful, in fact I think she is even more beautiful, she looks incredible, she kept her promise to me. She's still thin but she looks a lot better than the last time I saw her, her hair is even longer but it's now styled a little and it's framed around her face, she's still pale but I can see a little colour in her cheeks. I have to resist the urge to pull her into my arms and hold her. She sits down and looks around whilst I sit opposite her just staring at her.

"How are you?" she asks.

"I…I'm a little bit lost for words, I never thought I would see you again"

"I'm sorry Christian, I know this probably wasn't what you was expecting"

"Well no it wasn't"

"Do you want me to go? Kate can come and do this when she's better?"

"No, I don't want you to go…just hold on" I press the intercom and tell Andrea to cancel of my meetings for the rest of the day.

"Christian, you don't have to do that"

"Yes I do, I have to speak to you, I can't let you leave without us talking"

"Okay" she whispers.

"I have to ask how you are Ana, you look, well you look beautiful" I see a small smile trace across her lips and I can see she's blushing.

"I'm fine Christian, I'm better…I didn't break my promise to you"

"I know, I never thought you would"

"Christian, I have to, I have to apologise for leaving like I did, I mean I wrote you a letter instead of facing you, I just disappeared in the middle of the night, which was cruel of me but I felt like it was the right thing to do, I couldn't stay, I had to figure myself out all on my own and you, so did you"

"I know, I understood then and I still understand now, I don't hate you Ana, I never could. I had pushed you too far, we barely knew each other and I threw all of my shit on you when you had enough to deal with on your own, I just couldn't bare the thought of not having you in my life and then when you left…I realised I had to sort myself out, I hadn't dealt with my past, I panicked…"

"And now?" she asks me.

"And now, I don't know…I mean would it be rude of me to ask you if I can take you to dinner?" she blushes instantly.

"Christian, no it wouldn't be rude of you but is that a good idea?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean with what we have to talk about, there's a lot I have to say and I'm sure you do aswell" I nod, she's right, I do have a lot to say.

"Ana, I want us to talk properly but not here, so I'm leaving that to you?"

"What about your boat?"

"My boat?" and she nods.

"Okay, my boat it is" and she smiles once more.

"I suppose we should get on with this interview?" she asks next.

"True, but you probably know the answers already"

"Well I know most of them yes but you see Kate doesn't know about us so I had to pretend I didn't know who you were"

"You never told her? How did you two meet?"

"I never told her because it didn't feel right, we met about four months ago, she's been a good friend to me and she helped me out a lot, she doesn't know much about my life, maybe that's because I've never felt comfortable talking about it other than with you but she gets it, she understands and doesn't push me for information…"

"And she's dating my brother?"

"Yes, and that too"

"Have you met him?"

"Once or twice, but just in passing really, it never really occurred to me he was your brother, I didn't know he was your brother until a couple of weeks ago, when this interview first came about…she wouldn't shut up about it"

"Do you live with her?"

"Yes, I have been for about three months"

"Where was you before that, sorry, I realise I am asking question after question"

"Christian, we can talk about this but I would rather us do it somewhere more relaxed"

"I agree, so these questions then?" I ask and she smiles brightly.

We spend the next hour or so going through each question in turn, it is true that Ana does know nearly all of these answers but she insisted I answer them all in my own words. I probably say more than I ever have done before in an interview but I think it's more to do with Ana being here, she smiles and her eyes light up when she listens to me talk about my work.

"What's the next question?" I ask her when she pauses, she bits her lip and damn…

"Well, it's a bit inappropriate?"

"Go on…" I urge her, not taking my eyes of her mouth.

"She…well she's written here and I quote 'Are you gay?'" well if that doesn't piss me off, if it wasn't Ana sitting here I would have thrown whomever it was out, including Kate. I push it aside and watch Ana blush once more.

"Surely you know that answer?"

"Well I, yes I know" and I can't help but grin, we continue on until all the questions have been answered.

"I should go Christian, you are a busy man…"

"That doesn't matter Ana"

"Yes it does, of course it does, here…" she reaches across and takes my hand in hers, she writes what I assume is her number down on my hand, just the feel of her hand in mine has my heart beating.

"It's so you can call me, we do need to talk" she says standing up.

"When?" I ask immediately.

"I will leave that up to you, Christian I am so glad I decided to see you, I…I've missed you, I've missed you a lot"

"I've missed you too Ana, so much" and I just have to, I reach across for her hand and pull her into my chest, my arms wrap around her tightly, she responds straight away and her arms circle around my waist, we stand there in the middle of my office for endless minutes, I don't want to let her go. She does eventually pull away from me though but she's smiling.

"I'll see you soon Christian, I promise" she reaches up and kisses my cheek and then turns for the office door but before she gets to it she turns back around.

"I have to ask, I just have to know, is she…" I cut her off knowing what she is asking about.

"Yes Ana, she is, she's gone…come on, I'll show you out" I say and walk towards her, I reach for her hand and squeeze it gently. I walk her to the elevator smiling like an idiot, I look at her and I see she's also smiling, I finally have her back in my life and I plan on keeping it that way.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen:**

APOV:

 _Oh how I've missed him, really missed him…_ he hasn't changed at all, his appearance anyway. When Kate first asked me to do the interview for her I refused straight away, I wasn't ready to face him again, mostly because I wasn't sure on how he would react, I didn't want him to hate me. She begged me for three days straight until I gave in early this morning as her flu had gotten much worse, I told her to go back to bed and I would make her soup and bring it to her. As I did this, she gave me all of the questions that I needed to ask him, she even made a joke about asking him if he was gay, I wanted to say something, I wanted to tell her he wasn't, I knew first hand that he wasn't but then that would open a whole new bunch of questions and I wasn't ready for that yet.

I'd met Kate four months ago, she gave me a place to stay. Since leaving Christian I was determined to get my life back on track, for myself and for him, I may not have had him by my side but all I had to do was think of him and I was able to face anything that was thrown at me. It wasn't easy at first, I had no plan so I did end up back on the streets for about a month but then I managed to start turning my life around and luck started to go my way for once. I started to eat a little more and more frequently, day by day I was becoming a little stronger. I'd managed to get myself a job at a bar, it wasn't exactly what I wanted to do with my life but it was a paying job so I couldn't afford to turn it down and that's how I had met Kate, she often comes into the bar with friends for drinks but this time she was on her own asking if she knew anyone who was looking for a room to rent, we had spoken several times, I found it easy to talk to her and once she realised I was looking for a place to live, she offered me the spare room straight away, now though, four months on, it's more like our apartment now, I don't just rent a room, we live together and we've become good friends, I'm still not much of a socialiser and I don't go out that much but I have met a couple of her friends, Jose, he's become a friend to me, her brother Ethan too. I've met boyfriends too but when she told me about Elliot, I felt a little uneasy around them, not because I didn't like him, he was great from what I've heard it was just that he was Christian's older brother and I didn't want Christian to find me, not yet anyway. I had to make sure I was far enough away for Escala so I didn't give in and go and see him but I did stay in Seattle so I could feel close enough to him. I knew he would be looking for me so I always had to be extra careful, he knew the park I did sometimes sleep in, he ran through it most mornings so I couldn't go there anymore, I had to change what I did and where I went day by day. It was difficult because I wanted to see him, I wanted to be in his arms more than anything but I had a reason I did what I did, we both needed space, we both needed to figure things out for ourselves, I needed to concentrate on my own problems before I could help him concentrate on his.

Now though, as I walk out of GEH and out onto the streets, I feel different, being around him feels different, I know I still have the same feelings for him as I did before, if anything they had grown stronger each day we had been apart but now, I feel as though we could be together, that's if he still wants to be. I know the man he used to be, he told me all about his casual flings of his past and I can't help but wonder if that is still his lifestyle but on the other hand, he always told me I was different that he wanted more with me, that he wanted an actual relationship with me, and then I got up and left. My thoughts are interrupted by my phone vibrating in my pocket, a text message and I grin as I realise it's from Christian.

 **I've said it once but I'll say it again, I've missed you Ana, what are you doing this Saturday? I've checked the weather forecast, I can take the boat out? Christian x**

 **I've missed you too, I'm free during the day on Saturday but I have work at 8pm so I will have to be back for then. I'm looking forward to it. Ana x**

I don't have to wait long for a reply.

 **Saturday it is, where are you working? C x**

 **In a bar called Fifty's, I work there Thursday, Friday, Saturday nights and during the day Tuesday, Wednesday. A x**

 **That's not a safe place to work Ana. C x**

 **It's perfectly safe Christian. A x**

 **We will talk more about that on Saturday, I have another meeting now. C x**

 _Great…_ well at least I know that part of him hasn't changed, he can't stop me from working, I don't care what he says, it's took me long enough to finally get a job and I won't give it up that easy. I push my thoughts of Christian aside as I realise I am almost home, I wonder if Kate is feeling any better. I open the door and I can hear laughter coming from the living room, I'm guessing she is and I'm also guessing she isn't alone either.

"Ana?" I hear her shout, if she's faked this illness, I may actually strangle her. I follow her voice and into the living room, I guessed right, she isn't alone, Jose and Elliot are her too. Jose shouts hello as he's watching TV as Elliot approaches me.

"You must be Ana, Kate's told me a lot about you" Elliot says enthusiastically pulling me into a hug.

"And you must be Elliot" I say back, once I'm free I go and sit down.

"How did it go?" is the first thing Kate asks me.

"It was fine" she frowns when I don't add on.

"Just fine?" I nod, it's then Elliot turns back to me.

"Kate told me you went to interview my dear brother instead, I hope he wasn't too much of an arrogant bastard" he jokes whilst grinning, Kate playfully slaps his arm.

"Surely he can't be that bad at work?"

"Babe, trust me, I know my brother, and he's the most cold, arrogant bastard I know. Although he has changed quite dramatically over the last year or so, he's not so cold towards us anymore and he actually turns up on Sunday at our parents' house for dinner, before we was lucky to even see him once a month, maybe two months, something changed his attitude, I just don't know what, I overheard my Mom talking to one of her old friends once, Elena, about a girl but that's all I got…" I want to beg Elliot to carry on talking but I know I can't, the mention of the name Elena sends a shiver down my spine and I briefly wonder just how Christian has got her out of his life, it was also clear that his family didn't know anything, or they did but Elliot wasn't saying anything, hopefully he will tell me about all this on Saturday.

"Maybe he has a girlfriend, maybe that's the girl?" Jose then pipes up turning away from the TV and Elliot starts laughing.

"I doubt it…"

"That reminds me, did you ask him?" Kate turns the attention back to me, I know what question she means.

"Ask him what?" Elliot asks and I shake my head.

"I kind of wanted to know if he was gay or not so I wrote it down" Kate says sheepishly and Elliot bursts out laughing, Jose joins in too. I however remain silent.

"Oh please tell me you asked him?" Elliot asks me, I just nod.

"You did? Ana, I actually believe you asked him that" Kate exclaims.

"Well you did write it down, and for your information…" I pause whilst I stand up to walk out the room.

"He isn't gay" I say irritated to them and then walk out. All three of them start laughing and shout me to come back but I ignore them and head for my bedroom to lay down for a little bit. I must have fallen asleep because I'm woken up by a knock on my door, I call to enter and Kate walks in.

"Sorry we was laughing, I hope he wasn't mean to you" she says whilst sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"Don't worry about it and he wasn't…he was polite, that's it"

"You sure?" and I nod.

"Ok, well we were just thinking, you have this Friday off work and we think we should go out, go to some bars and clubs, what do you think?" she asks hopefully.

"I don't know Kate…"

"Please, come on, it will be fun, you're not doing anything Saturday during the day so you can recover before you go to work, you haven't come out with us in so long"

"Ok fine, I'll come out for a bit"

"That's all I'm asking" she says smiling and then leaves my room. I sigh and lay back down on my bed, I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes and then I hear my phone go again, it's ringing this time, I don't bother looking at the caller ID before answering it.

"Hello"

"Hi" I smile widely as I recognise that voice instantly.

"How was your meeting?" I ask.

"Dull in comparison to an interview I had earlier on today" his reply makes me smile.

"Really?"

"Yes, without a doubt, she made my day"

"You made hers too you know"

"I hope so Ana"

"Your brother is here?" I tell him changing the subject slightly.

"I'm guessing I was brought up?"

"They only asked how it went today" I don't fancy bringing up the 'gay' topic or Elena for that matter, especially over the phone.

"Ok, so Saturday then?" he asks.

"Yes, I'm looking forward to it"

"Me too, I'll pick you up at 9am"

"That's early" and I hear him chuckle.

"I want us to spend the day together"

"Ok"

"I have to go, I have another meeting…"

"Ok, but I'll see you soon"

"Yes you will but we'll talk before then"

"Goodbye Christian" I say smiling.

"Bye baby" and with that he ends the call and I'm left grinning like a fool. It's only then I remember I'd forgotten to tell him about Friday night, I briefly wondered if he would want to come with us but I knew then that we would be asked a lot of questions from Kate and Elliot so I decided against it, I can wait until Saturday to see him, I know I can.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen:**

Friday soon arrives and I'm preparing myself for a night out with Kate, Elliot and Jose. I had already made it clear to them that I would not be staying out all night, I had a day with Christian to prepare myself for tomorrow and I didn't want to be hungover and spoil our day. To say I was excited to spend the day with him would be an understatement, every time I stop and think it about a huge grin would spread across my face, I couldn't wait to see him, but first I must endure a night out with my friends. I did finally decide to tell Christian about tonight as he would probably hear about it from Elliot anyway, that conversation went just as I thought it would, I shake my head as I think back to it when I told him on Wednesday during my lunch break over the phone, he was in New York:

" _Ana I don't want you going out…"_

" _Why not Christian?"_

" _Because I'm not there to look after you, what if something happens, I'm in New York and…"_

" _Nothing is going to happen to me, I'm with friends, and I'm with your brother…"_

"… _And he will be spending all of his time with Kate, which just leaves you on your own"_

" _I won't be on my own, I'll be with Jose"_

" _Yes Ana, a guy, what if he tries something?"_

" _He isn't going to try something Christian, you are being ridiculous, and he's a friend, that's all"_

" _But can you be sure he sees you as a friend, because I bet he doesn't"_

" _Of course he does" I do lie a little at that, Kate has told me once or twice that Jose may want to be more than friends with me but as I perfectly made clear to her, I only see him as a friend._

" _He will probably try and stick his tongue down your throat at the first opportunity" by the tone of his voice, I can tell he is getting annoyed._

" _Christian, stop it, I don't want to argue about this, we've only just got back into each other's lives, don't make me regret it" I regret saying that as soon as it leaves my mouth._

" _You regret it?"_

" _Of course I…" he cuts me off before I am even able to finish my sentence._

" _You know what, you are right, we aren't together so I can't stop you, I have to go, just have fun, do what you want and I will see you on Saturday" and with that he hangs up the phone on me. I sit there for a few moments trying to figure out what just happened._

"ANA! Are you ready?" Kate shouts. I'm brought back into the present as I hear her outside my room.

"I will be if you give me chance and stop asking me every five minutes" I shout back as I sit down on my bed and stare at the big bouquet of flowers Christian sent me which I received as an apology yesterday, I pick up the card that came with it and smile.

 _I'm sorry for what happened yesterday, you know how much I care about you, and I just didn't handle it the right way. I do want you to have fun but please promise to call me as soon as you get home, I don't care what time it is, I will be back from New York by then and I just have to know you're okay. I will see you on Saturday. C x_

I rang him immediately telling him he had nothing to worry about, Jose was a friend and nothing more and he never will be. It took me a while to convince him but eventually I did, we soon put it behind us as I asked him how New York was and straight away he was raging away at me about people who can't do their jobs properly.

"ANA! Elliot and Jose are here, hurry up!" Kate shouts again, I roll my eyes at her through my door and continue on getting ready. I decide on a pair of jeans and a shirt, I don't particularly like to wear dresses that much, I try and avoid them, I'm much more of a jeans, converse kind a girl. I quickly get a bag together and then head out of my bedroom.

We are soon at a bar, it's loud and crowded, as I suspected Kate and Elliot are all over each other so it's me and Jose stood at the bar with them on the dance floor.

"Want to dance?" Jose asks in my ear.

"I don't dance" I try and say as light-hearted as possible so I don't want to think it's him when in all honesty, I just don't want to dance with him.

"Come on Ana, just one dance" he asks again, I shake my head and try and attract the attention of a barman. Jose doesn't say anything else as Kate and Elliot appear.

"Next round on me!" Elliot shouts and straight away he gets served.

"I'm going to stay at Elliot's tonight Steele, will you be okay?" Kate asks me.

"I thought you was anyway, I will be fine" in a way, I'm glad she is because then I can leave even earlier as I know she won't beg me too much to stay.

"Thanks Ana!" she shouts as Elliot passes us both a shot of tequila. I quickly look at my phone and notice I have a two missed calls and several text messages from Christian.

 **Are you okay? C x**

 **Ana, please pick up your phone! C x**

 **Damn it Ana, you tell me not to worry and then you don't answer my calls or messages, so yes, now I am worried. C x**

I hastily excuse myself and go in search of a quiet area to talk to him, I quickly text him back as this is the last thing I want.

 **I'm fine Christian, I promise. I didn't hear my phone ring, it's very loud and crowded in here. But I promise you, you do not have to worry about me. I'm leaving soon, Kate is going to stay at Elliot's tonight so I can leave earlier. I will see you in the morning, don't be late. A x**

 **I won't be late, I've been looking forward to this all week. Remember what I said, ring me when you get home, I've just got back to Escala, do you want me to come and get you now? C x**

 **No, you stay at home, I will be fine. Get some sleep and I will ring you once I am home. A x**

 **Okay, don't forget. C x**

 **I won't', I promise. A x**

He doesn't text back and I don't expect him to either, I decide that I should probably go home soon, I know I'm probably leaving Jose behind in fact I know I am but I don't want any more awkward situations like I was in earlier. I go in search of Kate to tell her I'm leaving, she of course is back on the dance floor with Elliot, I push past everyone so I can reach them, and she spots me coming towards her and hugs me immediately.

"I'm going to go Kate!" I shout in her ear.

"No, you can't…please just stay a little longer Steele"

"Kate, I'm tired and I think you will be fine here with Elliot"

"Jose is outside looking for you!"

"Ok, I will go and find him then go, I will text you when I'm home, be careful and stay safe" I say looking at Elliot over her shoulder, she grins widely as she looks at Elliot, I know she will be perfectly fine. I leave them both to it and head off outside to see if I can find Jose before I leave, I don't find him anywhere which to me is probably a good thing so I get into a cab and make my way home. Once I am dropped off outside my apartment building, I search for keys and walk up to the building, notice that the door into the apartment building is open, I look around me and see nobody so I walk in and shut the door behind me, somebody obviously didn't shut it properly on their way out. I walk up to my apartment and try and unlock it and then realise it's already open, surely Kate can't be here. I know I shouldn't go inside, I should just turn around and call Christian to come and get me but I don't, instead I slowly push the door open and freeze, our apartment is completely trashed. I don't hear anything so I assume the intruder is long gone. I quickly pull out my phone to call for the police but a woman's voice stops me dead in my tracks.

"I wouldn't" I turn around and see someone with their back to me in the kitchen area. I wait and then she eventually turn around to face me, she removes the hood that's covering her face and I gasp. I don't recognise her at all but she looks dreadful, she looks like me, or at least how I used to look, her clothes are baggy, not to mention filthy, she has dark circles under her eyes and she looks pale, almost ghost like, she moves slightly so that I also move, it's then I notice a gun in her hand.

'What do you have that I don't?" she asks quietly.

'Who are you?' I ask.

"Me? I'm nobody" she shifts on her feet slightly as she clutches tightly onto the gun she's holding. I look around to try and find an escape route but she's blocking it, my phone starts to ring on the kitchen side, I look over at it as she looks over at it too. She keeps her eyes on me as she moves to reach my phone, she holds it up and laughs, and from here I can see that it's Christian who's ringing me, I'd promised him I would ring him once I'd got home and I haven't.

"If I can't have him, nobody can" and what happens next all happens in slow motion, she pulls the trigger of the gun, I vaguely hear two gun shots and the next thing I know, pain lashes through my entire body as I fall to the ground. Through the sheer pain that is sweeping through me I see her stand above me.

"Now he will be without you", she drops my phone just out of my reach and leaves me on the floor clutching onto my stomach, I feel my own blood seeping through my hands as my vision starts to get blurry and unfocused as I try and concentrate on my breathing. I desperately try and reach for my phone but I can't get it, I can't move, I feel as though my whole body is paralysed. I don't know how much longer I can stay awake for, my entire body is betraying me and I can feel myself shutting down, my last thought is of Christian as darkness takes me.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen:**

 **CPOV:**

I can officially call tonight the worst night of my life, here I am sat in the hospital waiting lounge waiting on news about Ana, I look at myself covered in her blood, my hands, my shirt, it's everywhere on me. I could not lose her, she had to make it, she had to survive, I had so much I needed to tell her, there's so much she needs to know. I leaned forward and rested my head in my hands whist leaning on my knees with my elbows, I felt like crying, for the first time in my life I wanted to break down completely all because of my beautiful girl fighting for her life somewhere in this hospital. She was shot, she was shot twice in the stomach and lower abdomen, who could do such a thing. I close my eyes only to see a reply of the moment I realised something was not right and the moment I found her lifeless body.

 _Something isn't right, she hasn't called me, why hasn't she called me? She promised me she would, so why the fuck hasn't she? She'd already text me telling me she's going home, she should be there by now and yet no answer when I call her. This is why I didn't want her to go out in the first place, I'm not there to look after her, and anything could happen to her. I finally come to the conclusion that I need to go and see if she's okay, I need to know she's home safe, she call shout at me all she wants once I get there but a promise is a promise and she's broken it. Taylor decides to accompany me as we are soon driving towards Ana's apartment building. I feel uneasy as we drive there, I just have a slight feeling that something isn't right. Taylor stops just outside of her building, I tell him to wait in the car as I won't be too long, I just have to see her. Lucky for me, Ana had already previously told me the code to get into the building so I walked straight on in and up the stairs towards her apartment. But my heart stopped and my entire body completely froze as I saw her apartment door wide open and I could see from here that it was trashed. I sent Taylor a quick text to get on up here quick, someone's obviously broke into the apartment, I'm just hoping Ana isn't here but I just know she is, I can feel it._

 _I run through the apartment, not bothering to wait for Taylor, he can be mad at me for that later but right now I have to find Ana. The place is completely trashed, mirrors are smashed, vases, the TV are smashed, flowers and pictures that were once in photo frames are ripped to pieces all over the floor, whoever did this must have been out of their mind. I turn around so I'm facing the kitchen and I stop dead, there in a pool of their own blood is Ana. I let out a blood-curdling scream as I run and drop down onto my knees next to her._

" _ANA" I scream as I take hold of her face in my hands, she's cold and pale._

" _ANA! ANA!" I scream more but nothing, no answer. I pull her body into my arms and hold her tightly against me, tears pour out onto my cheeks as I bury my face into her hair._

" _ANA! ANA! Please wake up, please wake up, don't leave me here alone"_

" _Please wake up baby, you can't leave me, please Ana…" I whisper into her ear, hoping, praying for something, I refuse to believe she's dead, she can't be dead, she can't leave me._

" _Please Ana, please baby…wake up, please wake up. I need you in my life" I carry on whispering into her ear, I hope she can hear my voice. Taylor crouches down next to me and puts his hand on my shoulder._

" _The ambulance is on it's way Sir" I see him reach over and check her pulse._

" _She's alive Sir, her pulse is faint but it's there, she's alive" he tells me but I don't answer, I pull her even tighter in my arms and don't let her go._

" _Sir, the ambulance is here" Taylor says, I can hear more footsteps around me but I can't let her go. Taylor once again steps forward and crouches down beside me._

" _They need to look at her Sir, let her go…she needs help" but I shake my head, I can't do it._

" _Christian, she needs to go to the hospital" I feel him pull me away from her and I let him, he pulls me into my feet as the paramedics rush to Ana's side. I look at myself and see blood all over me, Ana's blood._

" _What's her name?" one of the paramedics asks._

" _Ana, Anastasia Steele" I manage to say, my throat is dry and hoarse. I watch them work on her in front of me, she needs to be at the hospital, why aren't they taking her anywhere. Taylor keeps me away as they work on her._

" _Why aren't you taking her to the hospital?" I shout at them._

" _Sir…" Taylor starts but the other paramedic's cuts him off._

" _She needs stabilising before we move her Sir, she's not strong enough, and she'll not make it if we move her, please stay back as we work on her" I start pacing up and down, I need to be near her, I need to feel her hand in mine but Taylor refuses to let me through, he blocks me every time I try and move closer. Finally but not soon enough in my eyes they decide to move her onto a stretcher and begin preparing her for the hospital. I get past Taylor and I'm immediately at her side, I take hold of her tiny hand in mine, now I refuse to let go._

" _I'm going into the ambulance with her" I tell the paramedics._

" _Are you family?" they ask me._

" _She's my girlfriend" and don't you dare tell me I can't stay with her._

" _What's your name Sir?"_

" _Christian Grey"_

" _Very well Mr. Grey, if you can follow us out"_

"Christian…" I'm brought back into the present and look up and to find my Mother standing there in the doorway. I don't say anything, I just stare at her. My father appeared behind her along with Mia. What are they doing here? Someone must have obiviously called my Mom telling her one of her sons is causing chaos in the hospital and she must come and sort him out.

"Any news son?" my Father asked, always straight to the point. I just shook my head. Mia came over and sat next to me, I could tell she wanted to hug me, but didn't know if she should. I'm glad she didn't, I couldn't stand anyone touching me at this point.

"Christian darling, you need…" my Mom starts.

"No, I'm fine"

"Christian…" I'd heard enough, suddenly I was shouting.

"NO!...I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE, I AM NOT LEAVING THIS ROOM UNTIL SOMEONE TELLS ME ANA WILL BE OKAY AND THAT SHE ISN'T DEAD!"

"Christian son, calm down and stop shouting"

"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, ALL OF YOU! I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOU! I JUST NEED ANA!" I didn't care I was now practically screaming at my own family, they didn't understand what I was feeling. I was completely out of control. I didn't even care to see my own Mother crying, they were all so much better off without me, the sooner they realised that, the better. I needed to take my frustration and anger out on something, I punched the wall over and over again until I completely shattered my hand, and then I collapsed to the floor, completely exhausted. I eventually opened my eyes, I was completely alone, my family had done the right thing and left me once and for all, it was then that I broke down completely. I felt sick, I felt weak, my hand was ruined and my body was aching all over. Somewhere in the distance I heard the waiting room door open…

"Leave me alone" I croaked quietly.

"Mr. Grey?" my head shot up straight away to find the surgeon that took Ana away stood looking down at me. I quickly stood up, too quickly I thought as I lost my balance and almost fell back to the floor again, with my good hand I manage to support myself up against the wall.

"Mr. Grey?"

"I'm fine, where's Ana? Is she alive?" I asked even if I was utterly afraid of the answer.

"She's alive Mr. Grey, she's alive. She's out of surgery, she's not awake but I will take you to her as soon as I can"

"What do you mean she's not awake and why can't I see her now?" I tried to keep my voice as calm as possible.

"She lost a lot of blood Mr. Grey, she's lucky but she's very strong, she needs time to heal. We've put her into a coma for the time being. In a few days we will take her out of the coma and in her own time she will come round, she will wake up Mr. Grey just give her time". I shook my head, I don't want to give her time, I want her to wake up now.

"Mr. Grey, we need to take a look at you, your hand…"

"I don't care about me, you can see to me when Ana wakes up, until then she comes first". _She always comes first._

"I'll be back for you shortly and take you to see her, from there you won't have to leave her side" I won't be leaving her side ever again if I have it my way.

I slowly sit down on a chair and close my eyes, she's alive, my Ana is alive. This is your one chance to tell her how you really feel Grey, tell her and don't fuck it up this time, don't push her away. She needs you now, just like you need her.

"Sir" I look up and see Taylor at the door. Ever since we arrived at the hospital he has been working none-stop to see if we could find any clue on who did this, by the looks of his face, I can see he's found something.

"What have you found Taylor?"

"A note Sir, a note left for you" I stumble onto my feet and walk to where he's standing.

"For me, show me, who's it from?" he hands me over the note and I take it with my good hand.

 _I told you, I told you Christian that if I couldn't have you then nobody could and now I've taken away the one thing that means most to you in this world, now I'll be able to watch that world crumble and burn like you did to mine. It's a shame really, you could have avoided all of this if you had chosen to be with me but you didn't. Don't think this is over, I'll be in touch soon._

I look up at Taylor to find him already looking at me.

"Have you managed to trace this for fingerprints?" I ask him and ne nods, this is why I hired him in the first place, he gets things done no matter what.

"Sir, I believe it to be Leila Williams who wrote this" _What the fuck! Leila!_ I stumble back into a chair and read the note over and over again. I hadn't seen Leila in nearly two years, what is she playing at now? I'll admit, we parted on bad terms, she wanted more from me and I wouldn't give it to her so I ended it just like I end most of my past flings and she didn't take it that well but at the time I didn't care, back then I was a cold, heartless bastard who only cared about himself, not now though, Ana means more to me than anything in this world and somehow Leila knows that too and now she's done this.

"Find her Taylor" I order him.

"Already on it Sir" he tells me, nods and then leaves the room once more.

Less than an hour later, I'm being taken to Ana, I'm so scared to see her, even though I know she won't know I'm there, the thought of her hurt kills me. I'm shown to her room and then left there so I could go in in my own time. Once I finally find the courage, I open the door and as soon as I see Ana, tears spring in my eyes again. She's hooked onto machine after machine, she looks pale and so small in this room. I slowly move towards her bed and sit down whilst taking her hand into both of mine. I look at her face, her eyes are closed, I just try and imagine that she's only sleeping and that by tomorrow she will be awake but I know that's not true, she's in a coma and it could be days, possibly even weeks before she opens her eyes again. I kiss the back of her hand and each one of knuckle in turn over and over again. _Please come back to me Ana, I love you._


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen:**

Four days later I'm still at the hospital, I haven't left Ana's side, I just continuously look at her and hold her hand whilst she sleeps. I refuse to let any doctor take a look at me, I know I must like hell, my hand is still busted and if I'm honest, it's really painful but I don't care. Today they are taking her out of the coma in the hope that she will wake up, I need her to wake up, I need her with me. The doctors have told me to talk to her, but I haven't spoken one word yet, I don't know how, I don't know what to say that will make this all disappear. One thing I have thought though, as soon as she is better and strong again, we are going on a vacation, I don't care where we go, I am taking her away from this place. I hear the door open and I look up, I guess it's time for her to be brought out of her coma. I reluctantly leave the room whilst they do their job, once I close the door behind me and look up, my mom is standing there. What is she doing here? She should hate me? She moves closer to me until she is standing in front of me, without saying a word she just pulls me into her arms, I tense immediately but she doesn't let me go, I just have to keep reminding myself over and over again that she won't hurt me. What she whispers into my ear next shocks me.

"As soon as she wakes up darling, tell her, tell her how you really feel and don't let her go, you need her just as much as she needs you Christian" I don't say anything, is it that obvious to her? I've only just begun to admit it to myself that I'm in love with Ana and now my mom knows I am too. It takes the most important person in my life to almost die to get me to realise just what it is that I feel for her. I pull away and break apart from her, I give her a slight nod so that she understands, I know I've got to apologise.

"I'm sorry for what I said Mom, I was angry and…

"Christian, my sweet boy, you don't need to explain yourself to me but you do need to have your hand looked at"

"I'm fine, I can't do anything until she…I don't know what to do Mom"

"She will wake up" I know she's trying to convince me but I'm finding it very difficult to believe.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I ask her.

"You are my son Christian, and I love and care about you very much, I will always be here. Taylor has told me haven't left the hospital in days, please take care of yourself" Mom tells me and just before I can reply I spot my father, Mia and Elliot walking towards us.

"You look like shit bro!" only my brother would point out the obvious. I walk to a nearby seat and sit down steadily.

"So, are you going to tell me how you know Ana?" he then asks me, I shake my head, I'm not in the mood for this small talk.

"Come on bro, Kate will be here shortly and she wants to know aswell, Kate hasn't a clue on how you both know each other because Ana's never mentioned you before but clearly you do…"

"We've met before, about ten months ago, that's it"

"That's it?"

"That's it" I say sharply, ending the conversation and then turning to the rest of my family.

"I'm sorry for all of this, I don't know how I can make it right, but my priority is Ana", I tell them and then I spot Taylor walking towards us so I get up and speak to him in private.

"Anything?" I ask, after finding that note from Leila in Ana's apartment, he's been determined to find her but she's disappeared completely, there's no trace of her.

"Yes, it's about Leila but I have found something else too…"

"Go on" I tell him.

"Elena" is all he says.

"What about her?"

"She was spotted having lunch with Miss Williams about a month ago"

"WHAT?" I shout and all my family turn their heads towards me, I notice Kate has now turned up.

"Sir, I don't know how we didn't spot it, Miss Williams didn't leave your life easy and I don't know what they had lunch about but…" I cut him off.

"Find out Taylor, find out everything. I want them both found and followed at all times, they are not to come near this hospital or anywhere near my family, Elena knows this"

"Sir, they were here in Seattle"

"FIND THEM TAYLOR" I all but shout at him, this should not have happened, I've had my best people check on Elena from time to time and somehow they let this slip, I'm fucking furious. I finally got Elena out of my life, there's no fucking way she's finding her way back in.

"Everything alright son?" I hear my father call out to me.

"Yes, everything is fine" I snap and turn my attention back Taylor.

"Find them Taylor and no more fuck ups this time and I want to know absolutely everything"

"Yes Sir" he replies and then disappears off again, I sigh trying to calm myself down before turning back to my family.

"Why don't you go and get yourself cleaned up Christian, we will be here with Ana" I shake my head, I know my mom says she only cares but I am not leaving, especially after what Taylor has just told me.

"No, I'm staying here…"

"You are not the only one who cares about her Grey" Kate suddenly decides to speak.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" I ask her.

"You both clearly know each other, why you're hiding it I don't know"

"Because it's nobody's business, that's why so stay out of it"

"Christian, please calm down" my dad warns me.

"I don't give a fuck, I'm still not leaving"

"Christian, language please son and keep your voice down" I huff and shake my head, Kate in my head is the last thing I want. The doctors come out then and tell us she is responding well and is out of her coma, she will wake up when she's ready. I don't stand around another minute before going back in there and sitting by her side.

 **A.P.O.V:**

I can hear voices in the distance, but there's only one voice I'm wanting to hear, why can't I hear it, please let him be okay, that girl, I know she has something to do with Christian, what if she's got to him too, what if he's hurt and nobody knows. I try to move but I can't, my body is too weak to do anything, I can't even open my eyes, I just have to listen to the muffled voices and try and make out what they are saying?

I don't know how much time has passed, I know I must have fallen asleep at some point and I do actually feel able to move my body a little. I try to open my eyes and I succeed but it's too bright and close them straight away. I try again only this time very slowly and I manage to keep them open, I look around, I'm in a hospital I know that much but how did I get here? I look to my right and I spot Christian, he's here, he's sat on a chair next to my bed leaning over with his head resting on his elbows on the bed and holding my hand. I slowly move my arm and succeed and run my hand through his hair, straight away he jerks awake and quickly looks around until his eyes finally lock with mine. Tears just fall from my eyes, he's alive, he's safe, he quickly stands up and leans over to wipe away the tears that just continue to fall and when I look up to his face, he's crying too. He looks exhausted, there's black circles under his eyes, his hair is more of a mess than usual and he's no longer the clean shaven man that I know.

"Ana, Ana, you're awake"

"Hi" I whisper quietly, tears still running down my face as I continue to stare at him concerned, my throat is horribly dry, he passes me a cup of water and helps me to take small sips.

"You have no idea how happy I am to see you" he whispers back.

"Are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me, it's you in this hospital bed"

"Please, are you okay? What about that girl, who is she...don't lie to me Christian" I ramble.

"I'll be fine Ana I promise, I'll get myself looked at" he says, ignoring my other probing questions.

"You look so dreadful, Christian please…"

"Ana, you are my priority and right now…" he snaps standing up and walking away, it's then I spot his hand and I gasp, Christian is instantly back at my side.

"What the hell have you done to your hand?"

"Ana…"

"No, tell me the truth, what have you been doing?"

"Enough Ana!" he shouts at me, tears immediately spring to my eyes again. I hate it when he's angry, I wish I could hold him but I physically cannot move, a tears escapes and rolls down the side of my cheek.

"I'm sorry Ana, please don't cry…I just, I can't lose you Ana, I just can't, not again and for a short while I thought I had for good this time"

"I'm not going anywhere, not this time" I whisper, he leans over to stroke my cheek and I instantly feel myself light up from within.

"How did I get here? I can't remember much…" I say quietly, I'm confused about all of this.

"I found you, when you didn't answer your phone I drove over to your apartment, I…I never want to see what I saw ever again, it was my worst nightmare, we got you to the hospital, and you've been asleep for four days more or less"

"Four?" I gasp, that long and he nods.

"The longest four days of my life might I add"

"I'm so sorry, I…I know I probably shouldn't have gone into the apartment but I didn't think anyone else was going to be there"

"It was reckless, bordering on insane to go in there…"

"I know, I'm sorry but who is she Christian?"

"Did she say anything?" he asks, I think back but it's a blur and all I feel is pain.

"I, it's just a blur at the minute, I remember her pulling the trigger and the pain but everything else is still a little confusing" he sighs and looks down to the floor.

"She's an ex of sorts, I haven't seen her in over two years, I'm trying to understand it but I can't"

"How do you know who it was?" I demand.

"She left a note…for me to find"

"Christian…" I whisper panicked and my breathing starts to become laboured and difficult.

"Ana, it's okay, I'll find her I promise, I won't let her near you ever again. I'm sorry for all of this, it's all my fault but please baby, calm down for me…deep breaths, can you do that?" he takes hold of both of my hands and squeezes them tightly, he takes deep breaths with me until I eventually calm down.

"I'll call the doctor" he says standing up.

"Please stay with me, I need you by my side" I whisper, I see a small smile trace his lips and he leans down over me so his face is inches from mine.

"Always" he whispers and kisses me ever so gently on the lips and I smile as he pulls away.

I close my eyes for a few moments as Christian leaves the room to go in search of my doctor. As he does, I hear someone else enter the room, I open my eyes to find Grace at the side of me.

"Ana, it's so good to see you" I smile friendly at her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Sore, confused, tired" I say quietly.

"That's understandable sweetheart, are you in any pain?" she asks as she picks up my chart.

"A little, sore mainly and uncomfortable, where's Christian?"

"He's speaking to your doctor, he'll be back in a minute, well get you more pain relief" she says kindly and sits down next to me, I start fiddling with my fingers and look down at myself.

"You still mean the world to him, and he hasn't left your side once since you was brought in here. I don't know what happened between you both all those months ago or why you left but I have no doubt in my mind that he thought about you every moment of the day."

"I just hope he doesn't hate me for it"

"He could never hate you Ana" I nod unconvinced, I realise myself and Christian need to have a serious talk about us.

"Everything is going to be okay sweetheart" and I don't know why but I start sobbing, she reaches over and takes my hand in hers.

"Sorry" I mumble trying to wipe my tears away.

"Ana, there's no need to apologise at all, you've been seriously hurt, you need to rest and recover properly. Your body has been through an awful lot, it's expected to feel all kinds of emotions"

"Can…can you get Christian for me Grace?" she smiles warmly.

"Of course I can darling, I'll leave you both to it" she stands up and leaves the room, seconds later Christian's back and instantly at my side.

"Why are you crying?" he attempts to wipe them away but once again more keep falling.

"Because I love you…"


	18. Chapter 18

_Authors Note:_

 _Firstly, thank you for all the comments I've received, I appreciate them. Secondly, sorry it has taken a bit longer than normal for me to update, there's some major changes going on in my life at the moment and my new job has taken over my life. Thirdly, I got stuck with a little bit of writers block so I can only apologise if this chapter isn't as good as you might have hoped, but I thought I would at least try and give you a little something. I know where I want to go with this story it's just getting to that point which is causing a little problem, Anyway, here is another chapter for you, enjoy!_

 **Chapter Eighteen:**

 **CPOV:**

 _She loves me…she loves me_ , did I hear that right? I know I am practically staring wide eyed at her right now, and I know I should be saying something right now but I'm a little taken back. I know my feelings for her, I've known them all along but now she feels the same, how is that possible. What did I actually do to deserve such a beautiful girl in my life? I'm brought back into the present as I can hear her calling my name.

"Christian…Christian, are you okay?" I know I need to start talking, I realise how that she has stopped crying.

"I…Ana, you love me?" _Good start Grey!_

"I know I probably shouldn't have said that, I mean we've only just started…to be honest I don't know what we've started but I know how I feel and I guess me being in here and knowing that there is someone out there who is potentially after you and please don't tell me there isn't because why else would of that happened to me? I know you Christian, I'm probably one of the very few people that do know you, the real you I mean so I just…" I need to stop her from rambling, so I take my chances of shutting her up by kissing her. To say she's taken by surprise is an understatement but she doesn't pull away, if anything she pulls me closer to her, I hold her delicate face in between my two hands as I trail my tongue along her lower lip, I hear her moan slightly and I can't but smile against her lips, I eventually pull away once I scold myself for not remembering soon that she almost died and she should be resting, I stare into bright blue eyes and just let myself give in to what I am feeling.

"I love you too" I whisper to her, I see tears automatically spring up in her eyes, I manage to catch one with my thumb and then kiss each one of her eyes.

"Don't say anything Ana, you don't have to. We've been apart for far too long and now I don't plan on ever letting you go, in fact I don't think I will let you out of my sight from now on. I want my life with you, wherever you are, that's where I want to be. I've lasted nine months without you, it was nine months too long. Please, don't run again, I want to be the one person you run to, not run away from. I know we have a lot to talk about but we've got all the time in the world for that, for now I just want to hold you and see you make a full recovery. After that, I plan on taking you away from all of this, a long weekend, or maybe a week, just the two of us, no interruptions, just me and you, together" I see tears continuously pouring down her face, I kiss her repeatedly all over her face, every inch of her face I kiss until I reach her lips.

"I like that idea" she whispers back to me just before I'm about to kiss her only to be interrupted by Kate and Elliot walking into the room without knocking.

"Woah, sorry bro!" Elliot practically shouts grinning from ear to ear, I see Ana turn away to try and hide her face in the pillow, I give her hand a gentle squeeze and she peeks up at me.

"No point in hiding Ana, we caught you" Elliot tells her. I see Kate walk to the other side of Ana's hospital bed and takes the other hand.

"How are you feeling?" she asks her.

"I'm okay, alive, that's probably the main thing" she mumbles and turns back to look at me.

"Ok, I have to ask this, how the hell do you two know each other?" Elliot asks.

"Not now Elliot" I tell him.

"Christian, it's fine, I don't mind" Ana says quietly squeezing my hand.

"Ana, I know you don't but I do, you need to rest, we can save this conversation for another time"

"But…"

"No buts Ana, you need to rest"

"She's not going anywhere Grey!" Kate jumps in.

"I can clearly see that" I retort back at her.

"Christian…" Ana whispers, I turn to look at her and see tears in her eyes again, I need to stop making her cry.

"We met nine months ago" I tell them both not taking my eyes off Ana.

"Nine?" Elliot exclaims, I nod.

"Where? How?" I don't say anything to that question, I wait for Ana to give me some kind of sign to tell them but she instead speaks not breaking eye contact with me.

"He saved my life" Ana tells them.

My brother the hero, that's hard to believe" I turn to scowl at Elliot.

"It's true, he did and I couldn't be more thankful for him"

"So how come you've never mentioned each other before, Ana, you've never even mentioned Christian?" Kate asks.

"I know I haven't"

"So you've been seeing each other in private?" Elliot then asks.

"No, we've haven't seen each other in nine months" I tell him.

"I don't understand" I can see Ana trying very hard to keep her eyes open so I step in and shut the conversation down.

"It doesn't matter how, why, where…what matters is now, Ana needs to sleep so we can have this conversation another time" I turn to them just in time to see Kate glare at me but I don't care.

"Well are you going to leave?" she asks.

"No" Ana says quietly and I turn back to her and smile whilst leaning over and kissing her forehead.

"Ok, I'll be back tomorrow" Kate tells her and then walks out, I don't care if she's angry, if Ana was her friend she would respect the fact that Ana needs to sleep and rest as much as possible, she almost fucking died in my arms and I am not about to forget it in a hurry.

 **APOV:**

If I was strong enough, I would scream it out so that everyone knew that Christian has just told me he loves me, this beautiful man beside me is in love with me, I don't get how and I don't understand why but at this moment in time I don't care, I'm just glad he's here with me and he's right, wherever he is, I want to be there by his side.

I also would like to see Kate and Christian get along, I know they are both concerned about me but if anything they need to start getting along more, I do think Kate is annoyed though, and I think it's at me for not telling her about me knowing the Christian Grey all this time and not mentioning it to her once. I know I will have to tell her the full story soon as I know she won't let it go that easy.

"What's wrong baby?" Christian asks me as he sits back down again to take my hand.

"I…Kate, I just know she's annoyed with me for not telling her about you"

"Baby, the last thing you need to be thinking about is Kate being annoyed at you, you need to concentrate on getting better so we can have that week away"

"Christian that won't be for a while"

"I don't care how long it takes baby, I'll be here"

"And where do you plan on taking me Mr. Grey"

"Wherever you want Ana, but for now you need to get some sleep"

"Will you stay?"

"I'm not going anywhere baby" I kiss her forehead and run my hand gently through her hair as I see her eyes start to drift shut.

"I love you Christian" she whispers.

"I love you too baby" I reply but I can see she's already fallen asleep.


End file.
